By your 40s, you’ve probably dated enough people to know that a good salary can still come with some very bad decisions. A big paycheck loses some of its charm when the rest of the financial story is a dumpster fire.
A new Tawkify survey of 547 singles aged 40 and older found that 97% consider financial incompatibility a dealbreaker. The biggest red flag wasn’t low income. It was lying about money, cited by 64% of respondents, ahead of chronic overspending at 57% and financial dependence on others at 46%.
That concern has some research behind it. A 2021 study found that financial infidelity, including hidden purchases, concealed debt, and secret accounts, affects an estimated 40% of partnered adults. The damage can feel similar to other forms of betrayal because the money isn’t really the only issue anymore. Now you’re also dealing with the fact that somebody looked you in the face and left out a pretty important detail.
The Financial Red Flag That Could Ruin Your Relationship, According to a New Survey
Surprisingly, a fat paycheck wasn’t much of a selling point. Only 6% chose high income as the most attractive financial trait in a partner. Far more attention went to whether someone lived within their means, told the truth about money, and could handle their own bills.
Only 16% said they require a partner earning at least $100,000. Another 38% said they’d rather date someone who handles money responsibly than someone who just earns a lot of it. Among singles making under $50,000, 46% said a partner’s income didn’t matter as long as they were good with money.
People over 40 also seem very protective of the financial lives they’ve already built.
Only 11% said they’d want to fully combine finances with a long-term partner, while 17% wouldn’t merge anything. The most popular setup, chosen by 32%, was separate accounts plus one shared account. Taking on somebody else’s debt was the biggest concern about combining finances, cited by 25%.
And for many people, this isn’t theoretical. Forty-three percent said they’ve already ended or avoided a relationship because of money. Among Gen X respondents, that rose to 45%.
By this point, the fantasy of finding someone with a huge paycheck seems to be losing to something much less sexy and a lot more livable: tell the truth, pay your bills, and don’t make your financial chaos somebody else’s problem.
The post The Biggest Financial Red Flag in Dating Isn’t What You Think appeared first on VICE.
