“Spa Weekend” is the latest in a long line of films about older women reuniting with lifelong friends, going on a getaway vacation, and getting into what can only be described as “various shenanigans.”
It’s usually a harmless, friendly genre — a low-key wish fulfillment scenario which says life begins whenever you say it does, your friends will always be there for you, and if you’re single or in a loveless marriage, the first new sexy person you meet will be your perfect romantic match and wild thing in the sack.
It sometimes comes across as a low-effort, low-impact genre. “Spa Weekend” reeks of both. The cast, made of many brilliant comedians, deserves applause — just not for this film. Their material in “Spa Weekend” is only half-baked, which means — as any “Great British Bake Off” host would tell you — no one should try it. The recipe sounds scrumptious. The actual product makes you queasy.
Leslie Mann, Anna Faris and Michelle Buteau play single moms who need a break from their stressful lives. So they abscond to a fancy health spa for, believe it or not, a weekend! They elect not to invite their hot mess bestie, played by Isla Fisher, because they’d rather relax than snort cocaine off tattooed beefcake sex workers. (There’s no accounting for taste.)
She shows up anyway with a suitcase full of dildos and makes a mess of everything, breaking expensive crystals during guided meditation, stealing a golf cart and jumping it off a ramp, and pretending to have sex with a goat. To her infinite credit, Fisher almost makes the goat thing work. The best punchline in the film comes in the blooper reel — always a bad sign — when she says she refuses to raise their kid without its father. As comedy goes that’s good, clean filth.
“Spa Weekend” resorts to bawdy humor (yes, yes, at a resort) whenever the rest of its jokes fall flat. So it does this frequently. There’s a perfunctory quality to most of the film’s gags, as if the idea for a joke is the same as an actual joke if a brilliant performer gives the presentation. But even raunch can misfire. The gag reel includes a freeze-frame of an upskirt shot during a stunt gone awry, and if that doesn’t scream “this movie about women’s empowerment wasn’t written or directed by women,” I don’t know what does.
Again, you can’t say they didn’t cast great performers. Mann plays the straight woman. and plays her a little too straight. She finds love with a hot yoga instructor (Adam Demos) who wants her to prioritize herself more often, and can also make her orgasm just by touching her hand. Oh, and he can make a delicious gnocchi. His character exists to be the perfect catch, not to be a human being. The mirror image of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl is, of course, the Flawless Rescue Stud. There isn’t a “Flawless Rescue Stud” page on Wikipedia but there should be, and this guy’s picture should be in it.
Faris plays Fluttershy from “My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic” if she were a human and … wait, were the Equestria Girls human? I can’t remember if they ever said they were human. They were kinda human, I guess. If nothing else they’re a great distraction from thinking about “Spa Weekend.” I wish I could stay on that subject but anyway, Faris is a comic genius and she doesn’t have enough to do.
Rounding out the ensemble is Buteau, who writer/directors Jon Lucas and Scott Moore place front-and-center. It’s probably the best decision they made. She’s got the most fully developed character, the most plausible flaws, the most emotional and satisfying journey. She’s divorced from a guy who couldn’t keep living with her anger issues. She refuses to seek therapy, but she gradually comes to terms with her problems and starts out on a path to healing. It’s a real role and Buteau plays it perfectly.
Frankly I’m not sure we needed the other characters. “Spa Weekend” could have been The Michelle Buteau Show and it would have been a more focused, interesting film. She can carry a movie, it’s just weird that she has to, considering the rest of the talent involved. Lucas and Moore hew so closely to the vacay ensemble comedy checklist that they miss almost every opportunity to put a spin on the genre. God forbid they try to transcend it.
“Spa Weekend” is, in the end, about making yourself a priority. Self-care, self-confidence, even self-indulgence — these qualities are vital to a well-rounded, healthy existence. So it’s a shame that this film, which presents itself as one of those indulgences, an (allegedly) amusing way to carve out time for oneself and (allegedly) enjoy some escapist humor, is so unrewarding. Audiences deserve better. The cast deserves better. Comedy deserves better.
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