When I was growing up, we had a family tradition that I didn’t know was weird. For regular meals, we folded our paper napkins in half in a rectangular shape. But for holiday dinners, we folded them diagonally — which, for reasons that have never been made clear, my parents viewed as more formal.
I think about this quirky little tradition every holiday. Our Thanksgiving table has changed a bit over the years, but the napkins were still neat triangles this year, as always. It warmed my heart, for some reason, and it always comforts me to hear about other people’s holiday rituals, too.
One friend of mine, a New Yorker, celebrates what she calls Greenland New Year’s Eve. “I can never make it to midnight,” she told me. “So I ring in the New Year at 9 p.m. Eastern time, when it’s midnight in Greenland. Then I go to bed.”
Another friend always attends Yo La Tengo’s annual “8 Nights of Hanukkah” concert residency in New York City. (As he put it, “Gifts for the kids; a show for me.”)
Traditions don’t need the weight of history to be meaningful, said Michael Norton, a professor of business administration at Harvard and the author of “The Ritual Effect.”
Dr. Norton, who has researched family holidays, told me that families who have rituals “report being more likely to brave the hectic travel and traffic to actually gather.” Those who don’t have such rituals, he found, are less likely to come together.
Rituals remind us, in part, of our shared history and deep emotional ties, Dr. Norton explained, “even if we drive each other crazy with the way that we chew our food.”
Two weeks ago, I asked you to write to me and tell me about your unconventional holiday traditions. Hundreds replied, sharing twists on Thanksgiving menus (“Ribsgiving” and “Ranchgiving”) and pastimes like watching “Apocalypse Now” on Christmas morning and celebrating Festivus like the “Seinfeld” crew.
Here are some of my favorites. Maybe they’ll inspire you to establish a few offbeat traditions of your own.
Submissions have been edited for clarity and length.
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We spend Thanksgiving morning at the zoo for “Feast With the Beasts,” where animals get their meals in things like papier-mâché turkeys that they have to tear into. One time they just smeared peanut butter on the glass for the grizzly bears. — Anne Rowley, Salt Lake City
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My wife and I have an unusual holiday tradition: We record a “radio show,” a little like “A Prairie Home Companion.” Each year we rope different people in with a theme and have them record songs, read poems or whatever they’re into at the time. We have fun editing and listening back, but the best part is getting time with people as we record in the “studio” (our spare bedroom). — Albert Schilthuis, Dallas
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My Jewish family grew up with the delicacy of babka. When I realized that few people in my rural Berkshires town had ever tasted babka, I began buying one each year for the post office and one for the Police Department. I deliver them on New Year’s Eve with a thank-you card. — Francie Jarowski, Becket, Mass.
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Fried oysters for Christmas breakfast and a toast of applejack brandy, in memory of our beloved relatives no longer with us. Growing up in Virginia, my dad made oysters three ways each Christmas morning, while sipping on Jack Daniel’s. — Maribeth Southworth, Brielle, N.J.
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I invented a game inspired by my nephew’s not-so-subtle distaste for a Christmas gift: the Stinky Gift Game. Each family member was given a grocery bag and instructed to rummage through the house to find the worst possible item to give as a gift, like a pencil with no eraser.
We exchanged bags, and the receiver had to say at least one complimentary thing about the item (“Oh! You know I have too many erasers and not enough pencils — thanks so much!”)
After playing the game, they did at least learn to say something complimentary and thank the gift giver. — Tracy Williams, Cypress, Tex.
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Every Christmas, my mother and I give each other a Mystery Kitchen Implement. It started about 30 years ago, when she gave me a small, handled implement she found at a cooking store in Paris. When I opened the present, she asked me to guess its purpose. I didn’t guess that it was a cornichon slicer, but it started a tradition. — Sara Stone, Halcottsville, N.Y.
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I like to host a winter solstice party in December. During the fete I will ask guests to write on colored slips of paper what they want to leave in darkness as we move into the days of more light. Those slips are thrown into the fire. Then I provide clay shards or small rocks on which to write what one wants to bring into light. Those are souvenirs to take home. — Maureen Mercury, Palm Desert, Calif.
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One last thing: What’s the best piece of advice you have received this year? The Times’s audio team wants to hear it. Send us a voice memo telling us the smartest, most useful, most effective piece of advice you have been given this year. Don’t forget to include your full name and where you live. Send your recording to [email protected]; we may use it in an upcoming episode of The Daily. We won’t publish any part of your submission without contacting you first, verifying your information and hearing back from you.
How good is turkey for you?
Americans gobble up an estimated 46 million turkeys on Thanksgiving. But how healthy is the bird? And does it really make you sleepy? Experts weigh in. (We also have recipes from New York Times Cooking to help you enjoy turkey all year long.)
Read the article: How Healthy Is Turkey?
After airplane emergencies, fear and anxiety can endure.
When people discuss fears of flying, they’re often reminded that planes are quite safe. But that can be cold comfort for those who have experienced extreme turbulence, a blown-out door or an engine on fire.
Read the article: ‘Everyone Thought We Were Going to Die’: Living With Flight Trauma.
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Let’s keep the conversation going. Follow Well on Instagram, or write to us at [email protected]. And check out last week’s newsletter about how to avoid awkward holiday conversations.
The post We Asked for Your Offbeat Holiday Traditions. You Delivered. appeared first on New York Times.
