A few years ago, I achieved the American dream. You know the one: I purchased a home. My dream home.
For years, like so many, I pinned hundreds of images on Pinterest of what I wanted in a house, from a spacious kitchen to a big soaker tub. The house I bought was over 3,600 square feet with features I never even knew I wanted, like a dreamy tiled bathroom and a rock wall in the basement for my twins.
Our neighbors were incredible, too. Every night during the warmer months, the neighborhood kids met in the park for Nerf-gun battles, while the parents visited and chatted.
It was the type of place and community I always wanted, and I could see myself growing old in that house and having my children come back to visit me there.
My forever home barely lasted 2 years
However, only three months into owning this new home, my marriage fell apart — and it didn’t take me long to realize that taking care of a large home on my own did not live up to my Pinterest vision.
It felt like I could never keep up with the cleaning and the yard. I was trying to balance work with caring for young kids, going through a divorce, and remembering normal maintenance tasks, like switching out the air filters.
I was drowning, but — not wanting to disrupt my kids more during a painful time — I stubbornly pressed on month after month, trying to hold on to the house. The truth was, though, I had neither the skills nor the emotional capacity to maintain it the way it deserved.
I made the decision to sell my home when the basement flooded and my property taxes increased in the same week. As a longtime financial writer, I knew it was time to face reality.
I didn’t want to disrupt my kids’ living situation, but I wanted financial and mental peace far more.
As hard as it was to downsize and move, I learned that I really liked living in a smaller place
At first, I rented a small 1,100-square-foot house in the same town to maintain some consistency.
The first thing I noticed about being in a smaller place was how much I loved that my kids’ rooms and mine were so close together. Instead of a sprawling living room and designer basement, we found joy huddled together on the tiny living room couch, watching movies.
Renting alleviated a lot of stress, too: Instead of trying to be handy or paying for expensive repairs, I could submit a support ticket to my landlord and have someone else fix any issue. My utilities were much more affordable, too.
Ultimately, the financial freedom that renting gave me, combined with getting rid of so many belongings when downsizing, made me feel like I could breathe again.
When my twins’ dad got a new job four hours away in Chicago, I decided to move, too — it felt like the best choice for our kids, since we each have them 50% of the time.
It was an easy decision to rent again in a Chicago suburb with great schools. I am much happier now, in my 1,000-square-foot apartment with my thrifted furniture and eclectic gallery wall, than I ever was in my Pinterest dream home.
Financial security is the real American dream
A few years ago, I thought that I had achieved the American dream, but I was very wrong. I have no plans to purchase a home anytime soon, if ever.
What I love the most about my apartment is the reduced mental load. Most working parents, like me, are overwhelmed with responsibilities. I’m so glad I was able to eliminate many of my stressful, time-consuming tasks by downsizing and renting.
Not only is my home more affordable, but it’s also much faster to clean and far easier to take care of.
Ultimately, large homes are beautiful, but they also require a lot of upkeep, and unexpected repairs can derail finances very quickly. For me, I feel more financially secure as a renter, and finding peace in my small place has made this difficult journey worthwhile.
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