Like many first-time parents, I assumed I’d go the low-tech route. I do believe that when only simple toys are available to kids, they will often fill in the gaps with imagination, skill-building, and a growing capacity to try something difficult and see it through. I knew that bright plastic, singing, light-up toys dazzle children, but they may not leave as much room for a child’s own personality and growth.
At the same time, I saw my child drawn, throughout the early years, to the light-up, singing, battery-powered toys of the world. As other friends set a hard limit on battery-powered toys, I couldn’t imagine how we’d do it at home. My toddler struggled to play with any of the blocks or other simple toys, and I found myself torn between the bright, loud options available to me.
Over time, we realized that my son would benefit from more engaging toys
As my child turned 2 and then 3, we saw that he was experiencing both speech and motor delays, as well as frustration with these delays that would cause disengagement during play. Stacking blocks and sustaining attention with low-stimulation toys were challenges that persisted rather than improved over time.
As a result, I adjusted which toys and home items we provided. The bright, loud toys engaged my son better than a calming set of wooden Montessori toys, and became crucial stepping stones for growth because my son could stick with them for longer.
Instead of push-along trains, we found that he was much more engaged by battery-powered trains that propelled themselves, helping him access a world of train-related imaginative play. Something about having a chain merrily chugging along seemed to settle my son, with the sensory impact of the train’s sound on the tracks helping him focus on his action figures as they built on the tracks.
There’s an entire line of LeapFrog electronic books that talk to my child when he uses the e-stylus to touch parts of the book. These books have taught my son a ton of skills; I have yet to see him, now 6, voluntarily hold a pencil or crayon, but he eagerly uses the stylus and traces letters in the electronic books.
Some swaps we made are no-tech and still make a huge difference
We also made some swaps in our toy box that aren’t tech-related, but still made a big difference. Instead of the delicate balancing of wooden block towers, we got magnetic tiles that helped him with construction tasks requiring more finesse. I saw how the quick win of a magnet snapping into place, rather than falling to the floor due to a slight misalignment during the build, was enough to keep my child playing, while wooden blocks would create instant frustration, and my son would abandon the task.
I also noticed other needs and how to meet them. Sensory items like an indoor swing and foam crash pads were helpful for my son to burn off energy and feel deep pressure, which helped him engage with other kinds of play in a calmer state.
We are thoughtful about the tech in our house
It can often feel like the choices for parents are either to go no-tech or be a technology free-for-all, and I just don’t know any actual parents who live in those extremes. Instead, I think we’re all trying to figure out answers to important, subjective questions: Does this technology help my family or make life harder? Will this help my child flourish, or is it designed to be addictive and mask the fact that the child is actually overstimulated?
I believe most parents are paying attention and noticing what really helps their kids and what is just too much, not really part of their bigger-picture growth and happiness. That’s why I’ve landed on plenty of loud, light-up electronic toys that he actively engages with, but relatively minimal passive screen time for my son, like sitting in front of a tablet to watch a TV show.
The toys engage him and help build skills; the tablet, at least at this stage, is reserved for environments where he really needs to be calm and quiet to stay safe or to help the whole family participate in events or experiences. There’s a rhythm and a thought process behind all of it, even if I’m constantly learning new things from the world and my kid.
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