Most people’s masturbation routine was perfected sometime in adolescence and hasn’t been updated since. According to sexologists, that’s a problem.
The practice known as mindful masturbation applies the principles of mindfulness to solo sex, swapping the autopilot approach for something more intentional — slower, more exploratory, not fixated on the finish line. Board-certified sexologist Angie Rowntree, the filmmaker behind adult platform Sssh.com, calls it “an empowering way to approach sexual curiosity and exploration” and a way to stop treating masturbation as “something rushed or routine,” she told the New York Post. The framing is about developing a working knowledge of your own body, which a surprising number of people lack by adulthood.
Dr. Laurie Mintz, a licensed psychologist, certified sex therapist, and emeritus professor at the University of Florida, has been making the case that mindfulness and masturbation are a natural pair. In her book Becoming Cliterate, she writes that “mindfulness is sex’s best friend,” noting that people who practice staying present during solo sex get better at it during partnered sex too, where distracting thoughts about performance and appearance do the most damage.
Dr. Janet Brito, a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist, describes the goal as “slowing down and getting to know yourself more erotically” with “a pleasure-based mindset, full of curiosity and self-discovery,” she told Healthline.
Sexologists Want You to Stop Masturbating on Autopilot
The physiology is already cooperative. Masturbation releases oxytocin and endorphins, and Rowntree says that layering in mindfulness further lowers cortisol, particularly with regular practice. Research has separately connected mindfulness-based practices to reduced performance anxiety and improved body awareness—two things responsible for more sexual frustration than people generally pin on them.
In practical terms, the approach asks for a distraction-free space, a few minutes of deep breathing to settle the nervous system, and a deliberate start with non-genital touch before anything else. Certified sex coach and clinical sexologist Kristine D’Angelo describes it as learning to “tap into all your senses while experiencing self-pleasure,” she told Dame Products. The point, across the board, is to notice what actually feels good rather than defaulting to whatever reliably worked the last hundred times.
“When you understand your own pleasure, you are often better able to own it,” Rowntree says. That applies whether you’re alone or not.
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