Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Mitch McConnell, M.I.A.
Speculation has surrounded the absence of 84-year-old Senator Mitch McConnell from public view since he was hospitalized with undisclosed health issues on June 14.
“But apparently, people don’t like a majority senator disappearing with no explanation for three weeks,” Ronny Chieng said on Wednesday’s “Daily Show,” referring to calls in the media for a “proof of life” video.
“Despite what Donald Trump wants you to think, he doesn’t run the government all by himself. There’s a whole other legislative branch with 435 congresspeople and 100 senators. Or maybe 99.” — RONNY CHIENG
“I think it’s pretty clear why he was admitted. He’s an incredibly old man. He’s half the age of America, all right? Look at him, he was probably diagnosed with, I don’t know, being extremely 84.” — RONNY CHIENG
“You’re asking for a proof of life video from the hospital? 84-year-olds have trouble shooting video when they’re perfectly healthy. If he can shoot a video without his thumb covering the camera, we should make him king of America.” — RONNY CHIENG
“Besides, what good is a proof of life video? We’re talking about Mitch McConnell — for the past two years, we’ve been watching him in videos where I have no idea if he’s alive.” — RONNY CHIENG
The Punchiest Punchlines (It’s Never Over Edition)
“Hey, you know how Trump’s been bragging about his cease-fire with Iran every day for the past three weeks? Well, today he said it’s already over. Mm-hmm. Can you say something is over when it never really got started? That’s like me saying my relationship is over with Michael B. Jordan.” — TIFFANY HADDISH
“‘What do you mean, ‘Brought back into the war?’ We’re the ones doing the war. It’s like a tornado being, like, ‘Wah, why is it so windy in here? What’s happening?’” — RONNY CHIENG
“So yeah, the cease-fire might be over. But lucky for us, we’ve got a dealmaker-in-chief as our president. And when he’s in charge, it’s never over.” — RONNY CHIENG
The Bits Worth Watching
Wednesday’s “Gutfeld” panel blasted Pepsi over apologizing for a social media post that some interpreted as trivializing consent.
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
Sarah Silverman will sit down with Tiffany Haddish, who is guest hosting “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”
Also, Check This Out
Justin Bieber and Burna Boy have joined the lineup for the first-ever World Cup final halftime show alongside Madonna, Shakira and BTS on July 19.
The post Late Night Joins the Hunt for Mitch McConnell appeared first on New York Times.
