You look forward to it all through the cold, dark winter: a week at the ocean with your pals. Sunshine all day, cool breezes at night, board games after homemade feasts.
Sure, that one friend might take too long to commit. Your old college roommate can be a bit controlling about the food plan. And will everyone be on the same page around how to split the bill?
Don’t fret. We’ve come up with 42 rules to help keep the peace and minimize stress on your group trip. Distribute it to each member of your party before you book the house.
Planning
1. Agree on your budget early on.
Your best friend may have let’s-rent-a-yacht-money, but if you don’t, the time to speak up about cost concerns is before everyone locks in plans. And do not be the person who bows out of the trip last minute, leaving others to cover a larger share of the bill.
2. Are we relaxing? Are we partying? Decide on the vibe.
Get on the same page about what kind of trip you’re taking. If you plan on being in bed by 9 p.m. but your cousin’s boyfriend is bringing beer pong supplies and his DJ equipment, there may be conflict in your future.
3. Establish your banking method.
Decide on a payment system for handling groceries, restaurant nights and boat fees. A quick: “How do we want to handle paying for things, do people like Splitwise or should we keep things casual?” will help avoid stress on the type-A members of the party.
4. No surprise plus-ones.
You ran into an old flame. Before you invite them over to reconnect, check with the crew. Everyone must sign off on surprise drop-ins, and sleepover guests are not permitted without an okay.
5. Sorry, pets. That means you, too.
Your dog cannot wait to paddle in the pool and zoomie around the beach. But don’t assume the members of your party are equally keen on sandy paws and ocean dog smell, or can handle all that shedding. Before packing up your pup’s water wings, ask the group if pets are welcome.
Eating
6. Make a grocery game plan.
Think of the trip like an ongoing potluck. Let everyone know what you’re bringing. Keep a working grocery list. And when it’s time for a shopping run, ask the group chat what they need.
7. Food is communal, but this isn’t an all-you-can-eat buffet.
As the snack-time adage goes, “sharing is caring” so if you are bringing a special treat, have enough for the group. At the same time, don’t gobble up other people’s food and drinks, especially if they have dietary restrictions.
8. Cook and order responsibly.
The family-style order of lasagna and garlic bread seemed like a good idea at time, but three days later, there are still platters of leftovers. Set realistic expectations about what you can consume. Toss any uneaten food before it becomes a science experiment.
9. If you’re not cooking, you’re cleaning.
Share the duties. No kitchen freeloaders.
10. Alternate dining or takeout choices.
You love shrimp and grits. They love pizza and tacos. Make sure everyone gets a shot at their favorite foods. Even better: Scout out the restaurant scene and share menus in advance to avoid culinary angst in the moment.
11. But not all meals have to be eaten together.
Consider this your permission to break off from the group for a breather.
12. Alert group of low supplies.
No one wants to find out we’re out of half-and-half when they’re holding a black cup of coffee. If your stock is dwindling, let the group know.
13. First one up puts on the coffee.
It’s the easiest way to be the house hero.
Activities
14. Come with communal activities, but don’t be hurt if no one plays.
Spikeball is not for everyone.
15. Plan for a rainy day.
Yes, you want to spend our time on or near the water. No, you don’t control the weather. Come up with a list of activities if you’re trapped inside all day, whether it’s a great beach house bakeoff, a cooking show binge watch or a field trip to the indoor antiques market.
16. Keep the entertainment neutral.
Turn on vacation-friendly, audience-pleasing shows and movies, such as “Friends” reruns, animation that does not star a sponge named Bob, Oscar-winning films and Tom Hanks. Tune out divisive political talking heads. For movie night, get a “yay” or “nay” for the title and time.
17. Respect nap time — adults included.
This is a vacation, and we’re here to relax (or follow a toddler’s sleep schedule) so keep your volume down while others are resting. Whether it’s for the baby or the hungover, honor the siesta, even if you’re not a nap person.
18. No forced game nights.
Hard to believe, but not everyone enjoys Monopoly. Or Dungeons & Dragons. Or Pictionary. Do try to find something with mass appeal. But don’t make it awkward for the pals who want to stay on the sidelines.
19. But don’t sit in the corner all weekend.
Keyword: Group trip.
20. Orchestrate the house music.
If you regularly sell out Ibiza dance clubs or took a MasterClass with David Guetta, then you earned the jeweled headphones of house DJ. Otherwise, let each guest take a spin at the summer soundtrack, or create a synergetic playlist using Spotify collaborative, mixing a little of this (Beach Boys) with a little of that (Beach House).
21. Oldest gets the best room.
When assigning bedrooms, follow the birth order or dollar signs. The oldest guests, or the ones who contributed the most, receive the key to the most palatial sleeping quarters. If this is not the same person, break the tie by determining who needs proximity to the bathroom more urgently.
22. Babies get dibs on the dark.
If someone has a baby, politely offer the darkest room. It’s in everyone’s best interest that the little one to get their sleep.
23. The biggest beds go to couples.
Unless a couple is in the midst of a sleep divorce, they get the biggest bed. No one wants to find a displaced spouse on the couch in the morning.
24. Earlier risers, keep it down.
We know, we know. You are morally superior to the snoozers. But for those of us who do not get the worm, please let us sleep in late. Do not start blending the margaritas until we’re all at attention.
25. Night owls lock up.
Because there are no school nights on vacation, you have everyone’s permission to stay up late. However, as the last one down, you are responsible for tucking in the house: close the windows, lock the doors, kill the lights and tell the neighbor’s cat it’s time to go home.
26. Keep private activities in private spaces.
Remember that this isn’t a couples-only retreat or solo getaway. Be discreet. You know what we mean.
27. Silence is golden.
Establish quiet hours, and keep them holy. Sure, you can get up early and stay up late. Just use headphones when you blast your music or catch up on audiobooks. And maybe take the early-morning jump-roping routine outside.
Housekeeping
28. Everyone has a house job.
Figure out your role. Are you the Guy Fieri on the grill? Offer to man the Weber. Is laundry your secret passion? Offer to do a load of darks. The house runs smoother when everyone pulls some weight. You don’t need to be formally assigned a job. If you see a task, do a task.
29. Keep the common areas clean.
Your brother-in-law may be the designated sweeper, but that doesn’t mean you should leave the lettuce bits you left behind after eating a BLT. Clean up after yourself as you go, especially in shared parts of the house.
30. Dry bathing suits only.
Remember when your mom would yell at you for sitting on the couch in a wet suit? Just pretend like she’s here.
31. Keep the beach at the beach.
Hose off your feet and other sandy parts. No one wants a house full of grit.
32. Don’t leave the beach empty-handed.
Before you ditch the dunes, survey the scene and see what you can grab for the group: an umbrella, someone’s abandoned baseball hat, the dregs of the snacks.
33. No eating in the pool.
If you must, you are responsible for fishing out any guac you drop.
34. No peeing in the pool or hot tub.
Do we really have to say it?
35. You are responsible for cleaning your own room.
You don’t have to maintain a bootcamp-spartan space throughout the trip, but remember that you need to leave your room how you found it. Don’t go full rock star and trash the place; we’re all bound by the same security deposit.
36. Observe bathroom etiquette.
If you are lucky enough to have a bathroom of your own, congratulations. More likely, you’ll be sharing. Be aware of your time in the loo, clean up after yourself, replace toilet paper if it’s low and don’t clutter the counters with your toiletries. And remember: science made room fresheners for a reason.
37. Be mindful of the hot water.
This is not a Holiday Inn where piping water is guaranteed to flow for eternity. If your tank can only handle a few hot showers, do the next bather a solid and keep yours quick.
Check out
38. Follow the rules, even if they’re outrageous.
Hopefully you avoided a rental that asks departing guests to vacuum, run the dishwasher, bleach the sheets and wash the windows. But whatever the request, do your part to tick off the checklist — without leaving extra work for your housemates.
39. And leaving early doesn’t mean you get to skip the chores.
If you’re hitting the road at 5 a.m. to beat traffic, make sure the group knows. Establish and complete your assignment before you depart.
40. Pay up promptly.
If you owe anything for the house, groceries, dinners out or the security deposit that definitely won’t be returned, tally your total and pay without delay. Don’t make anyone shake you down.
41. Thank the planner.
Someone did the bulk of the work putting this trip together for free. Unless it was you, make a point to acknowledge the hard work of wrangling schedules, budgets and personalities. A simple thanks is nice; a thoughtful souvenir from vacation is even nicer.
42. Leave the group chat.
Unless these are your favorite people on the planet, you are not obligated to languish in group chat purgatory — doomed to incessant notifications for the rest of your days. End on a high note: “What a trip! I’ll never forget Matt’s five-alarm chili!” then make your exit.
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