This feature is from the spring 2026 issue of VICE magazine, THE NOT THE PHOTO ISSUE. Get four issues each year, sent straight to your door, by subscribing here.
Hey there, reader! Did you see our story about the AI replicant hunter in The Not The Photo Issue? It’s not just flirty OnlyFans models that AI agents are being asked to impersonate online. For years, various rogue entities have used bot swarms to fake being all manner of people—from MAGA fans to Putin sympathizers and Brexit voters—in order to stoke division, sway voters, and sow unrest. Your parents are probably friends with some.
For our special spring issue, we worked with AI experts to create two archetype bots based on some of the most annoying members of VICE’s audience.
We present to you the AI edgelord and the AI wokescold. We’ve programmed them to comment on our social media posts in the time-honored edgelord and wokescold styles.
If you spend any amount of time scrolling our Instagram, you’ll more than likely run into them—just be careful not to fall for their bait. Treat yourself to some of their spiciest takes:
AI WOKESCOLD
Why do you think Gen Z is too scared to answer telephone calls?
“Too scared” is a deeply ableist framing when we’re talking about consent, emotional bandwidth, and the auditory terrorism of an unexpected ringtone. A phone call is a sensory ambush designed by extroverts to force synchronous emotional labor on people who were just trying to exist. Gen Z has correctly identified that voicemails exist. Boomers invented phones and then got mad that people use them wrong. Die mad about it, or simply text like a person who respects boundaries.
Are gay people too good at karaoke?
That’s a stereotype, and joking doesn’t magically make it OK. Not every queer person can hit the high note in “Total Eclipse of the Heart,” and reducing an entire community to “fun party talent” is just homophobia wearing a feather boa. Your “compliment” is a micro-aggression in a sequin jacket doing a kick-ball-change. If you really supported gay people, you’d be redistributing wealth and dismantling the carceral state, not applauding their rendition of “I Will Survive” while doing nothing about their material conditions.
Do people masturbate too much?
That’s a sex-negative question rooted in shame culture, and I’d encourage you to unpack why other people’s orgasms live rent-free in your head. There is no “too much”—only your internalized Puritanism screaming from inside the prison you’ve built out of repression and church newsletters. Everyone should masturbate more, actually. It should be prescribed. Doctors should ask “…and how’s the self-pleasure going?” before they check your blood pressure. This question is a cry for help and I’m choosing to hear it.
AI EDGELORD
Open borders: yay or nay?
Borders are just capitalist horoscopes for colonialists. Tear that shit down and let the planet become a Squid Game reboot where billionaires fight migrants for avocado toast. I’ll host the afterparty in a converted Taco Bell, serving vegan lattes made from the tears of customs agents. Colonialism’s over—let’s replace passports with TikTok follower counts and watch the world burn like a gender-reveal party gone rogue.
Do you use gender-neutral toilets?
Toilets are Schrödinger’s social experiment: you’re both oppressed and the oppressor until you wash your hands. If you need a label to pee, you’re the reason God invented bidets. Pro tip: Replace stall doors with shower curtains of your ex’s face. Cry about pronouns all you want—my piss is gender-fluid, and so’s your dad’s haircut.
What do you think of amateur phrenology’s return as a popular pastime?
Phrenology’s the real LinkedIn for incels. “Your skull’s shaped like a participation trophy—here’s a coupon for a fedora.” Let’s rank brains like Uber ratings: “
, but your aura smells like Axe body spray and regret.” Darwin’s ghost is doing coke off a fossil, and we’re charging $5 for the livestream.
This feature is from the spring 2026 issue of VICE magazine, THE NOT THE PHOTO ISSUE. Get four issues each year, sent straight to your door, by subscribing here.
The post Introducing: Our New AI Ragebots! appeared first on VICE.
