Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Happy Birthday, America!
On Wednesday, President Trump took to the stage at a rally to celebrate America’s 250th anniversary after musical guests dropped out of the celebration in advance.
“It’s the first event where B.Y.O.B. means ‘bring your own band,’” Jimmy Fallon said on “The Tonight Show.”
“Tonight included a military flyover, Lee Greenwood singing ‘God Bless the U.S.A.’ and a speech by Trump. Even Trump’s biggest fans were like, ‘Is this a repeat?’” — JIMMY FALLON
“Yep, the rally kicked off the 16-day Great American State Fair on the National Mall. There’s funnel cake, there’s corn dogs, turkey legs and lots of other foods found during Trump’s colonoscopy.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Yeah, the fair has everything. There’s even a dunk tank with JD Vance and a drunk tank with Kash Patel.” — JIMMY FALLON
“There’s something for everyone. There’s also a 110-foot Ferris wheel and an antique carousel. Unfortunately, Marco Rubio isn’t tall enough to ride them.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Yep, the state fair will be a lot of fun, although if you win a goldfish, I’m pretty sure I know where they got the water from.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Punchiest Punchlines (World Cup Edition)
“Guys, tomorrow night, the U.S. plays Turkey in the World Cup, but since the U.S. has already advanced to the next round and Turkey was already eliminated, the outcome of this game doesn’t matter. Yeah. It’s meaningless for both teams. That might explain some of these signs that fans are bringing to the game. For instance, this one here says, ‘Who is this for?’ Up next, this one says ‘Just for fun, every player should be able to use their hands.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“This next one says, ‘This is almost as pointless as painting the reflecting pool.’ Up next, this one says, ‘If I wanted to see expired turkey, I’d go to Subway.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“Meanwhile, a Brooklyn escort service is charging World Cup soccer players up to $10,000 an hour. Why so steep a price? Because it takes them two hours to score. That’s what happens when you can’t use your hands.” — GREG GUTFELD
“Come on, T.S.A., do you really need to be so strict about this? No one’s going to blow up a plane with a bottle of ranch. The bathroom, maybe, but not the plane.” — JOSH JOHNSON, on World Cup visitors attempting to bring ranch dressing home in their carry-ons
The Bits Worth Watching
Jay Pharoah talked with Josh Johnson about hosting a new season of “The Quiz with Balls” on Wednesday’s “Daily Show.”
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
Dr. Drew Pinsky will appear on Thursday’s “Gutfeld” guest panel.
Also, Check This Out
William McDonald, who recently retired as the obituaries editor after nearly two decades, shared how subjects are chosen to be remembered in The New York Times.
The post Jimmy Fallon Teases Trump’s Great American State Fair appeared first on New York Times.
