As more couples seem to be moving away from wedding customs and traditions, the father-daughter dance remains a ritual many consider worth keeping.
Alex Zsoldos, the owner of First Dance Charlotte, a boutique company run out of a studio in her Charlotte, N.C., home, said her father-daughter sessions are becoming more popular.
Since opening the business in 2014, Zsoldos, 39, has seen more demand for father-daughter wedding choreography. She typically creates dance routines, in-person or online, for five or six father-daughter partners a year (and works with about 150 couples annually), but has already choreographed 16 this year.
She attributes the increase to nostalgia and technology.
“More fathers want to have connective moments with their daughters,” she said. “They’re aware they could do something special versus just swaying back and forth.”
“They’re also more tech savvy,” she added. “They’re watching dances on YouTube, Instagram and TikTok and sending me videos they like.”
Zsoldos, a professional dance instructor who grew up in West Virginia, took dance classes and participated in dance groups at Davidson College. In 2009, she took a job teaching dance at DanceSport Carolina, a ballroom studio in Stallings, N.C.
“During my first month, I was assigned a wedding couple and choreographed an elaborate dance for them,” said Zsoldos, who lives in Charlotte with her husband, Jordan Kvanvig, 40, and their two children. “Helping them express their love through movements was artistic, creative, and emotional.”
Zsoldos stayed at the job for just nine months, but the experience of teaching couples to dance stayed with her for years. She started a website soon after. Inquiries quickly followed from couples, then from their parents.
Zsoldos spoke about the evolution of the father-daughter dance, popular choreography, and the most requested songs.
This interview has been edited and condensed.
How is the father-daughter dance different from the couple’s first dance?
The first dance is usually a celebration of the couple’s love. Sometimes it’s romantic, or high energy, and lasts two or three minutes. The father-daughter dance is about sentimental nostalgia and honoring the relationship. The dance is about 90 seconds. It’s one of the only opportunities that come up naturally where you will dance with your dad.
Who is your clientele?
My fathers are more local because it’s easier to coordinate. They might come in after we do a couple’s lesson. Sometimes they fly in. Fathers are a bit older now, 60 to 70s, because people are getting married later.
What’s the most popular song fathers pick?
“My Girl” by the Temptations. Six out of the 16 father/daughters this year picked it. It has a good tempo and beat. There’s a natural place to end. People know it; bands know how to play it. It’s sentimental and says everything a father wants.
What are some other good song selections?
There are three popular categories: advice songs, like “Forever Young” by Rod Stewart, which says all of these wishes and sentiments; the ‘I’ll be there for you’ category, “I’ll be there,” by the Jackson 5, “Here for You,” by Neil Young, and “Lean on Me,” by Bill Withers; and the ‘unconditional love,’ category like, “In My Life” by the Beatles, “You’ll Be in My Heart,” by Phil Collins, and “You’ve Got a Friend,” by James Taylor.
What steps do you include in a typical father-daughter dance?
Slow dancing or swaying at the beginning because people need a chance to get their nerves out and have a moment with each other. Twirls to highlight moments in the music that are interesting, like when music swells into the chorus. Twirls are great because they’re beautiful, easy to do, and show off the dress. It’s also fun and reminiscent of people’s childhood. When you put a few together, the dad looks like a hero. Maybe there’s a pattern-based box step, and a grand finale move for the father, like the bow tie or the pretzel, which are flashy swing moves, or a promenade, if it’s more sentimental.
How is your job more than just teaching steps?
I’m their cheerleader; sometimes I feel like a therapist. I go for beautiful steps that are easy to remember and execute, combined specifically to fit their song, which they’ve provided when they booked the lesson, usually six months to three weeks before a wedding. I let the song guide the steps, but I choreograph the base. I also coach them on how to get the best photos of their dance.
What is more meaningful, the lessons or the dance?
The dance is important and gives you the cheers, but fathers cherish the lessons because the one-on-one time and the experience with their daughter is what’s most memorable. They don’t have that anymore on a regular basis. It’s a very special focus and specific bonding time.
It’s about reminiscing, seeing your daughter as a child and the woman she is now. A lot of dads get emotional during the lessons and cry, which is sweet.
You offer free online tutorials when you sign up for classes. Why?
They reduce the number of times people come in and give everyone a shared dance foundation of basic steps.
Each private lesson package comes with 10 to 15 online video tutorials, each one to two minutes long, featuring choreography to specific songs. There are also 101 tutorials that teach basic foundations in social dance. A one-hour private lesson costs $299, and $899 for five lessons.
During the lessons, those basic steps become customized choreography to the song they picked. I demonstrate and guide them through the steps. I might dance with them so they can understand the feeling in their bodies. The goal is to leave the lesson having learned a full dance, and you just need to practice. At the end of every lesson, I film my couples while calling out the moves on their phones so that they have a practice video.
What’s trending for father-daughter dances?
Mash-ups or surprise dances. These consist of several 15- to 30-second songs strung together. The songs usually highlight different decades, have personal meaning to the father and daughter, and tend to be more energizing and upbeat, like “September,” by Earth, Wind & Fire, or “Stayin Alive,” by the Bee Gees. They end on a high note to get guests excited to start the party.
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