You’ve heard of situationships, but what about “maybelaterships”? This dating arrangement is perhaps more egregious in nature. Let’s explore the concept.
What Is a ‘Maybelatership’?
According to Dating Coach Noah Heymann of DateCoach.com, “Maybelaterships are romantic entanglements in which the relationship isn’t yet defined, and one participant is saying that in potential future circumstances it could become a relationship.”
“The person who is deferring the decision until later may claim any number of emotional or logistical reasons, which may be true,” he continues. “On the other hand, they could manipulatively conceal their true intent, such as that they need more time to evaluate the potential partner, or their potential other options.”
Of course, he notes, there’s also the possibility that they might never intend to get into a relationship with the other person and are just stringing them on. Sounds familiar…and eerily similar to the dreaded “situationship.”
“A situationship is a broader category in which participants in a potential relationship haven’t yet defined it as such for any number of reasons, and may never intend to,” Heymann says. “A maybelatership is the kind of situationship in which one person is dangling the possibility of a relationship in front of the other, sometimes for fair reasons and sometimes manipulatively.”
What Is Driving the Rise of Maybelaterships?
Oh, I don’t know…perhaps it’s the commitment aversion that modern daters have developed in recent years.
“One reason that maybelaterships are more common these days is that the dating apps give everyone more dating options that they may want to keep open,” Heymann points out.
Another potential driver is the rejection of situationships. As Heymann explains, some people dangle the possibility of future commitment just to keep the other person interested, since the typical “let’s just keep it casual” often isn’t enough. In this case, it’s more of a selfish act than an honest conversation.
In some instances, however, a maybelatership might actually seem like the practical move.
“Third, modern life does throw up more logistical challenges, such as career moves and long-distance dating, that may require a maybelatership,” he adds.
How to Protect Yourself From the Maybelatership
With so many modern daters wanting to have their cake and eat it too, it’s no shock that maybelaterships are becoming more common. That being said, if you’re seeking real commitment, you’ll want to protect yourself from this unfavorable arrangement. This might mean communicating your wants/needs and setting boundaries to uphold them.
“Just like you should Define The Relationship (DTR) as soon as feasible, you should also push to define the maybelatership,” Heymann says. “Specifically, under what circumstances and timing can you expect the other person to make their decision, and what do the two of you plan to do in the meantime.”
Additionally, don’t wait around hoping their “maybe later” will turn into a “right now.” You deserve explicitly and consideration.
“You should make clear to the person dragging their feet that you are not contentedly waiting for them, in whatever form works for you,” says Heymann. “Most often this means limiting your investment of time and emotion in the maybelatership, or even saying you’ll date other people until they tell you later is now.”
You’ve heard of situationships, but what about “maybelaterships”? This dating arrangement is perhaps more egregious in nature. Let’s explore the concept.
What Is a ‘Maybelatership’?
According to Dating Coach Noah Heymann of DateCoach.com, “Maybelaterships are romantic entanglements in which the relationship isn’t yet defined, and one participant is saying that in potential future circumstances it could become a relationship.”
“The person who is deferring the decision until later may claim any number of emotional or logistical reasons, which may be true,” he continues. “On the other hand, they could manipulatively conceal their true intent, such as that they need more time to evaluate the potential partner, or their potential other options.”
Of course, he notes, there’s also the possibility that they might never intend to get into a relationship with the other person and are just stringing them on. Sounds familiar…and eerily similar to the dreaded “situationship.”
“A situationship is a broader category in which participants in a potential relationship haven’t yet defined it as such for any number of reasons, and may never intend to,” Heymann says. “A maybelatership is the kind of situationship in which one person is dangling the possibility of a relationship in front of the other, sometimes for fair reasons and sometimes manipulatively.”
What Is Driving the Rise of Maybelaterships?
Oh, I don’t know…perhaps it’s the commitment aversion that modern daters have developed in recent years.
“One reason that maybelaterships are more common these days is that the dating apps give everyone more dating options that they may want to keep open,” Heymann points out.
Another potential driver is the rejection of situationships. As Heymann explains, some people dangle the possibility of future commitment just to keep the other person interested, since the typical “let’s just keep it casual” often isn’t enough. In this case, it’s more of a selfish act than an honest conversation.
In some instances, however, a maybelatership might actually seem like the practical move.
“Third, modern life does throw up more logistical challenges, such as career moves and long-distance dating, that may require a maybelatership,” he adds.
How to Protect Yourself From the Maybelatership
With so many modern daters wanting to have their cake and eat it too, it’s no shock that maybelaterships are becoming more common. That being said, if you’re seeking real commitment, you’ll want to protect yourself from this unfavorable arrangement. This might mean communicating your wants/needs and setting boundaries to uphold them.
“Just like you should Define The Relationship (DTR) as soon as feasible, you should also push to define the maybelatership,” Heymann says. “Specifically, under what circumstances and timing can you expect the other person to make their decision, and what do the two of you plan to do in the meantime.”
Additionally, don’t wait around hoping their “maybe later” will turn into a “right now.” You deserve explicitly and consideration.
“You should make clear to the person dragging their feet that you are not contentedly waiting for them, in whatever form works for you,” says Heymann. “Most often this means limiting your investment of time and emotion in the maybelatership, or even saying you’ll date other people until they tell you later is now.”
The post Introducing Maybelaterships, the Dating Trend That Might Be Worse Than a Situationship appeared first on VICE.
