Have you ever felt like someone is watching you? Sure, the increased surveillance with the abundance of Flock cameras essentially confirms that you are to some extent. Not to mention the location tracking on phones and all the other demented things you could learn about on the dark web. But do you ever feel like a person around you is monitoring your every move? When you’re a celebrity, that feeling increases tenfold. Usually, it’s paparazzi, deranged fans, and stalkers. But for David Banner, he suspects he has a spy in his ranks.
On Instagram, he told his followers about how he feels like he has to leave the house whenever his cleaning lady comes. Initially, he joked that he was astounded by her beauty and couldn’t handle being there with just the two of them. “It’s not because of my weakness or nothing like that. But ain’t nobody ever gonna say nothing about me, uh-uh. I get the f**k out of there,” David Banner said.
But then, he starts conjuring up conspiracy theories. What if the cleaning lady is out to get him? What if she uses her beauty to tempt Banner into a scandalous affair? He is a celebrity after all.
David Banner Claims His Cleaning Lady Might Be a Federal Agent
“Sometimes I think she [a] fed. I [ain’t] even bulls******’ y’all,” Banner grinned. “I’ll be thinking my cleaning lady is a federal f***** agent. F**k that s**t. I’m out this b***h. You ain’t about to get me caught up … Y’all think I’m joking. I’m rushing out the house now. I ain’t even wash my a**. … Plus, I ain’t going to be in there washing my a**. And she in there, too. Nope. She might be the weak one.”
Then, David Banner recalls an old celebrity scandal where an A-list actor got caught up with his housekeeper, and the public was after him. “I’m too blessed to get caught up. They ain’t gonna Arnold Schwarzenegger my ass, f**k that,” he added.
You might be wondering: if David Banner is so concerned about secret agents, why doesn’t he just fire her? Why leave her alone in your home? One person on X immediately made note of this silly reasoning, wondering if he was high. “You hire a cleaning lady, then complain they are ‘the Fedz’ and therefore, you leave your home when she’s there working? That’s the best solution you have?” they said.
The post David Banner Thinks This Close Employee Is Actually a Secret Federal Agent: ‘They’re Not Gonna Arnold Schwarzenegger My A**’ appeared first on VICE.
