Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
‘Dagnabbit, We Got Hormuzled!’
President Trump defended his new deal with Iran while at the Group of 7 summit on Wednesday.
Trump called it a “very strong deal,” adding, “nobody knows what it is, but it’s very strong.”
“That’s how you describe the smell of a dead person before you find the body,” Jimmy Kimmel said.
“President Trump told reporters on Monday that the U.S. peace deal with Iran should completely open up the Strait of Hormuz. It should? I know you haven’t released the deal, but have you also not read it? It’s one page long. Are you waiting for the audiobook?” — SETH MEYERS
“Well, guys, everyone is talking about President Trump’s agreement to end the war with Iran, and a lot of people think it’s a bad deal. Yeah. People don’t know how we got here or why we’re here. It’s the same feeling everyone has at a destination wedding.” — JIMMY FALLON
“So, just to recap — we killed the ayatollah and replaced him with a younger, more radical ayatollah. We did nothing for the protesters in Iran. We removed the sanctions that were on Iran before the war started. We got a cease-fire that we already had before this. We opened the strait, which was already open before this. We used up who knows how many billions of dollars on bombs and missiles. Many American and civilian lives were lost. We gave Iran full control of the Strait of Hormuz and we threw in a minimum of $300 billion, ’cuz why not? Right now, Melania’s wondering, ‘[imitating Melania] How do I get a deal like that?’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“But today, Trump said that continuing the war could have led the U.S. into a depression. America was like, ‘I think we’re pretty depressed right now.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“It just goes to show you, there’s no problem Donald Trump can’t make worse. Though I will say, the one area in which the war’s been a rousing success is it did take our attention away from the Trump/Epstein files; but don’t worry, the second it is really over, we will get right back into that.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Punchiest Punchlines (Boston Runs Out of Beer Edition)
“And, finally, apparently bars in Boston are running out of beer because of all the Scottish soccer fans in town for the World Cup. It’s a bit of a wake-up call when people from Boston are like, ‘You drink too much.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“Boston ran out of beer? But how will they get the children to sleep?” — JORDAN KLEPPER
“And, by the way, it’s not just bars. There’s no beer in any of the places in Boston that serve alcohol: restaurants, taverns, libraries, hospitals, A.A. meetings.” — JORDAN KLEPPER
The Bits Worth Watching
Kerry Washington told Seth Meyers about learning to curse from Whoopi Goldberg on Wednesday’s “Late Night.”
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
The “Jackass: Best and Last” star Johnny Knoxville will appear on Thursday’s “Daily Show.”
Also, Check This Out
Angélique Kidjo, Mavis Staples and Sharp Pins are among The Amplifier’s picks for seven great artists playing SummerStage this year.
The post Jimmy Kimmel Feels ‘Hormuzled’ by Trump’s New Deal With Iran appeared first on New York Times.
