Hey, just FYI, in case you were wondering, scientists say that bird masturbation is totally healthy and normal. I know it probably wasn’t at the top of your mind today. But eventually we all arrive at the same questions: Do birds masturbate? And if they do, should somebody be concerned about it? According to science, the answer is yes, they do, and no, you probably don’t need to worry. So, you know, one less thing to worry about.
According to a new study published in Ecology and Evolution, masturbation is common across the bird world and appears to be a natural part of avian sexual behavior. It’s not a sign of stress or that they’re not doing well. It’s just normal bird stuff, a lot like how it is normal human stuff, and really just normal living creature stuff. Living things jerk it. Deal with it.
If you’re wondering why this is even news, it’s because it challenges years of assumptions among bird owners and some in the veterinary world who assumed that birds that are self-stimulating word displaying some kind of behavior that was more than naughty, perhaps maybe even unhealthy, maybe brought on by unnatural living conditions. There’s a logic to it, though one that ultimately does not hold up to scrutiny.
Over the years, the owners were often advised by vets to discourage bird masturbation. And some of the recommended fixes were significantly more extreme than necessary, like hormone treatments or even surgery. Turns out, none of that is necessary. Birds masturbate. It’s natural. I reiterate: deal with it.
Scientists Say Bird Masturbation Is Totally Normal, So That’s One Less Thing to Worry About
The research was led by Chloe Heys of the University of Lancashire, who pored over several years’ worth of the reports, observations, and scientific findings of bird breeders and bird keepers. She and her team compiled data on 120 bird species across 22 bird groups, including parrots, ducks, chickens, and turkeys.
They found that masturbation was more common in wild birds than in captive ones. Both males and females masturbated, and it was a behavior observed in both juveniles and adults. All told, the research suggests that masturbation is just as normal in captivity as it is out in the wild, and seems to have evolved alongside all the other perfectly natural and normal sexual behavior.
It’s so normal, in fact, that the researchers argue that any attempt to suppress bird masturbation is probably more harmful than the behavior itself would ever be. Some rare medical issues can pop up, so be mindful of those, but generally speaking, intervention isn’t necessary. You should probably reconsider any veterinary recommendation to monitor it unless it’s directly affecting the bird’s health.
So, if there’s one thing you can cross off your list of existential concerns today, it’s that birds aren’t masturbating because they are distressed and feel trapped by the cage they live in. They’re doing it for the same reason you do: you’re bored and horny and might as well kill some time with some quality time with yourself.
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