It was one of those days that only parents of younger kids can truly relate to. We were on our annual family beach vacation in Mexico, where the beaches are beautiful, meals are included, and the goal is to relax.
No one really knew what set the kids off (do we ever?), but I remember saying to myself, “This was supposed to be a vacation.”
If I’m being honest, I didn’t really enjoy family vacations as much when my kids were younger. I was so focused on packing and planning for them that I didn’t really stop to think about what the vacation meant for all of us. I had an idea of what trips would be like: connecting with each other, having new experiences, and making those core memories that get stored in an orb like in the movie “Inside Out.”
Unfortunately, trips became more about what to pack, what we forgot, how to make it until the next nap, and planning evenings so kids can go to bed at a reasonable hour. It was a lot — until one day, things finally changed.
Travel was so much work
The logistical stress of packing, schedules, snacks, and gear is enough to deter a parent from going on vacation in the first place. Then there is the emotional burden of constantly having to watch your kids to keep them safe.
The lack of downtime as parents, as we are always “on,” means there is no time to enjoy that drink or sleep in the morning after a busy day.
But the most daunting task of a family vacation is the pressure to make it magical. Young kids are filled with wonder and amazement, and I wanted to expose my own to as much as possible. After all, we are the gatekeepers of what the world has to offer, and are usually the first in line to get to see that discovery. I didn’t want to miss those opportunities.
Age 10 was a turning point
There was an interesting shift that happened around the age of 10 that I remember vividly on one of our family trips. My daughter asked if she could go explore a bit by herself, and I let her.
At first, I was hesitant, but I trusted that she would come back or find an adult if there was a problem. She came, happy to tell me everything she saw, beaming with a new sense of independence.
As my kids enter their tween years, the desire to do things on their own grows exponentially. They gain a sense of independence by figuring things out, and I get a bit of a break. The longer attention span has helped us engage in activities for longer, so we can connect and learn together instead of rushing.
While vacations used to be planned around naps, meal times, and early bedtimes, now our days are filled with activities we’re all invested in. This is where those core memories are made, and vacations become easier and more enjoyable.
Now we’re all enjoying ourselves
While those trips when my kids were younger had their own kind of magic, looking back, I can say they weren’t as enjoyable for me. I loved having the opportunity to introduce them to the world, but it really did feel like parenting in a different location.
It’s OK if parents don’t love every stage of travel. For me, travel finally feels like a vacation now that every member of the family gets a say on what to do. In the end, getting to relax and recharge together is the best kind of trip you can hope for.
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