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Work Advice: Do I have to host an out-of-town colleague for our holiday party?

December 1, 2025
in News
Work Advice: Do I have to host an out-of-town colleague for our holiday party?

Reader: I’m a manager in a very small company with employees scattered around the country. The company is throwing a holiday party this year in my local area. One of the employees not located in my region called to ask me how to ask the team who would be willing to host her for a few days around the time of the party. Apparently, unbeknownst to me or other managers, our manager and the CEO told her someone on the team would be willing to put her up any time she needed to come to the area for work or celebrations.

I asked her if the owner ever mentioned a hotel. She said it was supposed to be an option but hasn’t heard anything since. I’ll also note the owner didn’t offer her own house.

We’re middle-aged professionals, not college students. I’m so mad. My questions are 1) am I under any obligation to offer to host her, and 2) was this wildly inappropriate?

Karla: 1) No and 2) yes.

To elaborate: It’s not “wildly inappropriate” for close colleagues to host one another — except in the case of public-sector employees providing lodging for higher-ranked colleagues, which violates federal ethics rules. (Assuming federal ethics rules still count for something.)

What is wildly inappropriate, in any context, is offering hospitality without the would-be host’s consent or awareness. Even within the same home, a household member offering lodging to an outsider owes any cohabitants an advance heads-up, as well as a commitment to perform the lion’s share of the hosting duties. Assuming your out-of-town employee’s story is accurate, your bosses have failed on both accounts.

To look at it from a charitable perspective, perhaps your bosses didn’t offer to put up your colleague in their own homes because they want to avoid the appearance of favoritism while sparing her the cost of renting a room. But even good intentions are no excuse for passing the obligation on to you.

The least your company can do is provide a list of local accommodations for out-of-town attendees, ideally ones where the company has reserved a block of rooms at a special rate. The most generous solution would be for the company to allow employees to expense those hotel rooms. And the most ethical option, especially if your party runs late or includes alcohol, would be to extend those same offers to local employees who might appreciate a night away from home.

At the other extreme, it’s worth noting that federal law does not require employers to reimburse long-distance travel expenses any more than it requires reimbursement of local commuting costs. It’s just generally understood that making employees foot their own bill for work-related travel is horrible for morale.

At any rate, you’re under no obligation to open your house to tourists or otherwise cover for your bosses’ slipshod planning. If your organization is especially close-knit and cash-strapped, you could take an informal poll to see whether anyone happens to have a spare bed they’re willing to offer (again, subject to ethics laws or internal policy restrictions). Otherwise, your only obligation is to let your remote employee know as soon as possible that unfortunately your home is not available for overnight guests so she has time to book accommodations or petition management for an alternative.

My two weeks’ notice

In fall 2011, when I entered a contest hosted by the late, great Washington Post Magazine for the chance to dispense workplace advice for four weeks, I never dreamed I’d still be around fourteen years later. It has been the ride of a lifetime.

But my run as your Work Advice columnist is coming to an end this month. My last column will appear online Dec. 15 and in print December 21.

Before I sign off, though, I’d like to get one last round of feedback:

  • What workplace questions have stuck with you over the years?
  • Any letter writers you always wanted an update from?
  • Any updates of your own that you’d like to share?

Send your responses to [email protected], and I’ll run as many as I can before I take down my shingle.

The post Work Advice: Do I have to host an out-of-town colleague for our holiday party? appeared first on Washington Post.

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