“Isn’t he the cutest?” my college roommate said, showing me an image of a Doberman peeking over a fence. “My parents got a new puppy.”
I wondered if she mistakenly had the wrong picture. All I saw was an animal with claws and sharp teeth that could bite at any time. I mumbled he was adorable, relieved that her family lived across the state.
I’d been afraid of dogs ever since I was a child, although I don’t remember ever being chased or bitten by one. Even looking at a photo of one made me uncomfortable.
My kids, it seems, did not have this fear. Instead, for them, it was quite the opposite. As a mom, I had to decide, was my fear of them greater than their relentless desire for one?
I was always scared of dogs
It seems most Americans are canine crazy, and the data backs that up. According to the American Veterinary Medical Association (AVMA), more than 40% of U.S. households own at least one. My mom’s favorite childhood memory was being pulled on a sled through the snow by the family’s German shepherd.
I hesitated to tell people about my phobia. Admitting I was petrified of an animal that was universally beloved was embarrassing. Instead, to hide my discomfort, I’d ignore dogs at all costs, turning away if they came up to me and never making eye contact.
My kids always dreamed of living with man’s best friend
Steering clear worked until I had children. As my two kids grew, so did their obsession with dogs. Since the building we lived in did not allow pups, it was never a serious consideration. I was safe.
The situation changed after I got divorced and moved into a pet-friendly apartment. My teenage daughter showered me with articles about the advantages of growing up with an animal in the home. I read numerous studies showing how they lowered stress, especially in children, increased self-esteem, and provided emotional support.
In the elevator, my kids quickly befriended our furry neighbors. “Biscuit has a snaggle tooth, but she can still chew chicken,” observed my youngest about the shih tzu down the hall one time. It seems they always had some fun facts to share about the four-legged creatures that everyone else invited into their homes. Their bonds with the dogs in our building were intense.
I had to make a decision
Rationally, I believed that adding a canine member to our family would be good for us, yet living with one seemed unimaginable.
I began spending time with Button, a friend’s Maltese, who was small, quiet, and calm. He actually reminded me of a cat. I liked cats. After several visits, I stopped worrying that he was going to lunge at me. He even dozed on the couch as I gradually got used to petting him.
Slowly, I started to change my mind. After months of dinners where the only conversation was about breeds and names, I finally caved.
Now, our home has a furry friend
We eventually settled on a Havanese. My daughter had been monitoring a litter of puppies who all seemed to be getting adopted, except for the smallest one with brown ears. Toby, who was sociable and gentle, ended up coming home with us after a brief meet and greet.
Even though I was doing this for my kids, I still felt calmest when he was locked in his crate for the first year. Every time he looked at me, my skin tingled a bit, and I’d get nervous, especially if we were alone together.
I marveled at my daughters as they wrestled him on the carpet. “Aren’t you worried he’ll bite you?”
“Seriously, mom,” they scoffed. “He’s just a baby.”
I was determined to be a good dog mom
Resolved to be a responsible fur parent, we began to go to the early-morning, off-leash hours at the local park. Though the roaming packs of hounds horrified me, Toby loved it.
We bonded over playing fetch. Seeing the ball, he’d shake with excitement, oblivious to anything else. One time, as it soared in the air, he ran headfirst into a tree and staggered, dazed. Scooping him up, I worried he had a concussion and carried him until he started wiggling, eager to run again. He was still learning, and so was I.
Over the past five years, Toby has become an integral part of our family. He gifts me toys when I get home from being out of the house, follows me from room to room, and comes running if I sneeze, his face full of concern. The idea that he would hurt me is inconceivable now. For someone who once crossed the street to avoid a dachshund, losing that fear has made my life richer and more nuanced. A dog can do that to you.
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