This photoshoot is from the spring 2026 issue of VICE magazine, THE NOT THE PHOTO ISSUE. Buy it now—or get 4 issues each year sent straight to your door, by subscribing.
Once upon a time in a kingdom not far away, a keyboard warrior emerges from his hentai man-cave to rescue his beloved body pillow maiden in distress.
She has been abducted and tarnished by an evil Chad warlord, who’s using her for clout in his lair of sin. Armed with delusion, a Bubonic Plague vape, and a rusty iron sword, our white knight in rotting armor rides into battle on his iron steed to save his little kitten.
The Lime bike clicks, the vape fully charged, and the battle commences.
Virgin and Chad joust over the honor of the maiden. Reddit can’t save them now—who will be victorious?
Creative Director: Kai Ghattaura
Photography: Sasha Chaika
Styling & Creative Direction: Luca Wowczyna
Models: Marty Theon, Thomas Melkior Tyler
Text: Aliona Kolesnikova
Special thanks:
Fin Francesca Forsyth
Ushko
Kwami
Josh Arnn
This photoshoot is from the spring 2026 issue of VICE magazine, THE NOT THE PHOTO ISSUE. Buy it now—or get 4 issues each year sent straight to your door, by subscribing.
The post Never Goon: Nothing Compares to Real Love appeared first on VICE.
