Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Friendly Competition
“Jimmy Kimmel Live” kicked off with “a quick programming note” on Wednesday, with the host sharing that the show would go dark on Thursday “out of respect for our colleague and friend, Stephen Colbert, and the writers, producers, staff and crew at ‘The Late Show,’ whose final show on CBS airs opposite ours.”
“Everyone at that show has always been very gracious to us,” Kimmel said. “We never felt like we were competing against them. It was nothing like the old days of late night.”
“I think you know how I feel about the fact that they’re being pushed out. I hope the people who did the pushing feel ashamed of themselves tonight, although I know they probably won’t.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“I will be watching tomorrow night. I hope that those of you who watch also will also tune in to CBS for the last time. Don’t ever watch it again.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Punchiest Punchlines (Raúl Castro Edition)
“We’re going to send a 94-year-old man to jail? What’s the point? Everywhere that guy sits is death row.” — RONNY CHIENG, on the Trump administration indicting Raúl Castro on Wednesday
“He’s so old, he needs help walking from another old guy. Where are you going to find a jury of his peers, with a Ouija board?” — RONNY CHIENG
“Castro is 94 years old. If he’s convicted, he’s facing a possible life sentence of six months.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“What are we going to do with a 94-year-old prisoner? That guy won’t make it to the end of his next cigar.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Oh, man, the charges are from 1996? That was 30 years ago. He was only, what, 64 at the time? I mean, we all do crazy [expletive] when we’re young.” — RONNY CHIENG
The Bits Worth Watching
Sue Bird, a basketball star-turned-game analyst, gave her predictions for the Knicks’ chances in the NBA championship while on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
“The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” will air its series finale on Thursday.
Also, Check This Out
John Cage’s “Apartment House 1776,” written for the United States’ bicentennial, is getting an immersive new production with a skeptical twist by the Detroit Opera at the Cranbrook Art Museum.
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