Elementary school is filled with so many monumental moments that parents try to capture. There are the kids standing by the balloons in front of the school on the first day, the holiday concert, Field Day, or a hundred other school activities that we’re lucky to join in on.
For me, the best and most meaningful moments happened at lunch.
Now that my youngest child is set to finish the school year and her time in elementary school, I’m realizing that these special moments we had together at lunch are in the rear-view mirror for me. My heart aches.
The lunches are easy to set up
Every year, when I received an email reminder via the school newsletter about parent-student lunches, I’d start planning the days — around two times each month — when I could have lunch with each of my kids.
The school makes it fairly easy to go in for a lunch date. All I had to do was check in at the front desk before lunch begins, get a visitor sticker, and then wait for my child’s grade to enter the cafeteria. Once the kids arrive, I could sit with my child at the reserved tables for parents, or we could head outside to the tables, benches, or lawn chairs.
The lunches meant a lot to me
Having lunch with my kids was never just lunch. As a newly divorced mom, having lunch together meant so much to me as I adjusted to splitting time with my kids. It was excruciating to say goodbye to them every other Sunday. To me, having lunch meant our week apart could include some extra smiles, laughs, a check-in, a chat, and a hug, all in the span of a 36-minute lunch in the school cafeteria or in the green area outside.
My divorce had wrecked my nervous system and broken my heart to pieces, so surprising my kids with their favorite meal and a quick hello was more than having sandwiches or chicken nuggets together to me. It was a comfort, it was a connection, a chance to look into their eyes. I know my kids looked forward to these brief moments together as well.
I tried to bring their favorite foods
Before my kids got phones, I would often surprise them at lunch, wing it, and bring whatever I thought they’d like to eat. For my son, a Chick-fil-A sandwich with no pickles and fries, and Starbucks treats. Then there was the grilled cheese sandwich my daughter loved, along with Whataburger chicken baskets, Subway sandwiches, Raising Cane’s chicken fingers with extra sauces, and toast. Once they had phones, I would text them that I would be coming the next day for lunch and ask them what meal they wanted me to bring.
At our lunches, we would talk about what was coming up, a test, a school activity, a soccer or volleyball game that weekend. Between bites of a salad or chicken wrap, I’d listen to their long stories about recess, specials, and their lives. I could grasp a sense of their emotions and how they were feeling. Sometimes I brought Uno, a squishy toy or marker, and a coloring pad. It was a time to relax, sit back, and just chill with my children, whom I missed so much.
It wasn’t easy, but I prioritized these lunches
Having lunch took some coordination to time everything correctly, to leave my work projects, to pick up the food, to get to the school on time.
Since my kids are a few grades apart, I would either take turns on different days or, if I had extra time, I would see them both for lunch on the same day.
As my kids got older, I thought maybe they’d be embarrassed to sit with their mom at lunch while their classmates looked on, but our lunches lived on through 5th grade.
My daughter will be in middle school next year, so this phase is coming to an end. It was just lunch, but it was a way to say I love you and I’m always here — and I’m really going to miss that.
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