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Jordan Klepper Wants the President to Get More Sleep

May 13, 2026
in News
Jordan Klepper Wants the President to Get More Sleep

Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.

Asleep at the Wheel

President Trump appeared to fall asleep during an event supporting reproductive health in the Oval Office on Monday morning. A White House official disputed the claims on X, posting that the president had been “blinking.”

“Well, well, well, looks like the Sleepy Joe-er has become the sleepy Joe-ee,” Jordan Klepper said on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”

“Yes, Trump is falling asleep in the middle of meetings, but he’s not as bad as Joe Biden, OK? Remember Sleepy Joe? He was snoozing while inflation just skyrocketed. This is completely different!” — JORDAN KLEPPER, alluding to Tuesday’s news that inflation rose 3.8 percent in April.

“Don’t judge. This man is exhausted from working the graveyard shift at his second job: posting insane A.I. slop all night. It’s important, thankless work.” — JORDAN KLEPPER

“So yet another Oval Office meeting where Trump was, as Dr. Oz would call it, ‘under-conscioused.’” — JORDAN KLEPPER

“Look, you know what? I can relate. I got a solid eight hours of blink last night. I mean, come on, don’t you hate when you’re blinking and you have to get up and go pee? Then you have to try and get back to blink, you know? It’s a nightmare.” — JORDAN KLEPPER

“But you know what? I think I see what’s going on here. Trump and Kash Patel have split up blinking duties.” — JORDAN KLEPPER

The Punchiest Punchlines (Trump Takes China Edition)

“You guys, tomorrow President Trump will arrive in China for a high-stakes summit meeting with President Xi Jinping. Trump’s really excited to visit China. He said he can’t wait to see where all of his hats are born.” — JIMMY FALLON

“It’s actually nice when Trump’s in China, because with the time change, his 2 a.m. Truth Social rants are at a normal time.” — JIMMY FALLON

“Yeah, Trump is there to negotiate big trade deals with China. But I’m a little worried because he thinks Mandarin is the guy who carries around Baby Yoda.” — JIMMY FALLON

“The two leaders aren’t expected to make any kind of major deal. Yeah, it’s nice. Trump can take a break from not making a deal with Iran to not making a deal with China.” — JIMMY FALLON

“Last night Trump prepped for his enormously consequential state visit by staying up late on social media gunking up the internet tubes with a waterfall of paranoid madness, posting over 55 times in just three hours until 1:13 a.m. My god, when does this man sleep? Oh, right, right. I forgot.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

The Bits Worth Watching

Jimmy Fallon paid tribute to his guest Sigourney Weaver’s father, the creator of “The Tonight Show,” Pat Weaver, during his time with the actress on Tuesday.

What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night

Pedro Pascal, the star of “The Mandalorian and Grogu,” will appear on Wednesday’s “Late Night with Seth Meyers.”

Also, Check This Out

“Paranormal Activity,” a play inspired by the popular horror film franchise, will come to Broadway this summer.

The post Jordan Klepper Wants the President to Get More Sleep appeared first on New York Times.

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