First of all, I’d like everyone to know that the following cringey rock songs were sourced from a personally curated playlist called “music for middle school boys” (self-explanatory).
Now, I like to consider myself somewhat of an expert on this flavor of rock song (grain of salt included). Not because I was ever a middle school boy. But because my hometown hard rock radio station was saturated with them, and that was all I listened to in high school (shout out 98ROCK).
Here are the four cringey rock songs I’d like to be buried with, thank you.
“Animals” by Nickelback
Alright, I know we all like to laugh at Nickelback for the “Photograph” meme. Ha ha, very funny, get it all out. What I don’t think anyone is ever ready to accept, however, is that Nickelback actually has a lot of good rock songs. Well, they’re good if you don’t take them too seriously.
As someone who revels in bad media like a pig in s*** (my favorite movie is The Covenant (2006), I know what I’m about), Nickelback has always scratched a very specific itch. And personally, “Animals” from the 2005 album All the Right Reasons has absolved them of their various musical sins.
I heard “Animals” for the first time in probably 15 years the other day, and every word came back to me with total recall. Am I proud of this? Actually, yeah, a little bit.
“Outside” by Staind
When you think of Staind, their 2001 hit single “It’s Been Awhile” usually comes to mind first, right? But “Outside”, which appeared on the same album Break the Cycle, is so good that I’ll never let it go.
I love cringe, as we’ve established. So the melancholy, hate the world, staring out the window at the rain vibe that “Outside” gives off goes above and beyond in that department. It’s a rock song completely of its era; Guys who feel betrayed by people in their childhood or by a girlfriend, who vent about it in song.
They flooded the radio with wall-of-sound guitar and that specific 2000s male rock vocal style that I’ve yet to find a way to accurately describe. But you know it when you hear it. That’s what “Outside” is, and it’s beautiful.
“Savior” by Rise Against
Rise Against released “Savior” on their 2008 album Appeal to Reason, and while I wasn’t really attuned to Rise Against at the time, this song still got its claws into me. It’s perfectly crafted for melodramatic teenagers to hold up next to their doomed romances and say, “I can fix them.”
That most likely wasn’t the intention behind “Savior”, unfortunately. But it still gives me goosebumps to hear it again years later. Differing a bit from the grittier, heavier vocal style of early 2000s rock, emo was in full swing by 2008. Specifically, Rise Against had shifted to a more accessible style with Appeal to Reason. At that time, “Savior” had them climbing the charts.
“Lightning Crashes” by Live
While the first three tracks appeared to me after more than a decade like divine visions, Live’s 1994 track “Lightning Crashes” is typically in my regular rotation. It’s my third favorite karaoke song, behind Fiona Apple’s “Criminal” and Sister Hazel’s “All For You” (again, I know what I’m about).
“Lightning Crashes” has often been written off for not really making a lot of sense. And, granted, that second line doesn’t really set it up for success imagery-wise. But the drum breaks can rival Phil Collins’ “In The Air Tonight”, and I’m not afraid to say it. I take it back when I said “Savior” gives me goosebumps: “Lightning Crashes” wrecks my whole shop emotionally, every time. How’s that for cringe?
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