Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Presidential Fitness
On Tuesday, President Trump hosted a group of children at the White House while he reinstated the Presidential Fitness Test. During the visit, he spoke about nuclear weapons in the conflict with Iran, the 2020 election that he has called “rigged,” and a woman being shot between the eyes, among other mature topics.
“So when Trump’s talking to a room full of adults, he sounds like a child; when he’s talking to a room full of children, he sounds like Pennywise,” Desi Lydic said on “The Daily Show,” referring to an evil character in the Stephen King novel “It.”
“[imitating child]Hi, Mom? Can you pick me up from the White House? The president is trauma-dumping on me again.” — DESI LYDIC
“No, they’re not too young. I’m sure they’ve already seen the ‘Paw Patrol’ episode where they drop a ballistic missile on Humdinger.” — DESI LYDIC
“How are you talking about nuclear war in front of children? [imitating Trump] ‘You kids have seen “Oppenheimer,” right?’” — DESI LYDIC
“During an Oval Office signing ceremony restoring the competitive Presidential Fitness Test today in front of a group of schoolchildren, President Trump claimed that Iran would have launched a nuclear strike against the U.S. and Israel if he didn’t start the war. Said the kids, ‘Uh, is this going to be on the test?’” — SETH MEYERS
“That’s right, President Trump claimed that Iran would have launched a nuclear strike against the U.S. and Israel if he didn’t start the war and added, ‘We can’t let Iran have a nuclear weapon.’ And you just know those kids were thinking, ‘Yeah, but didn’t President Obama reach a deal with Iran during his administration that reduced uranium enrichment by 98 percent, as well as allow for international inspectors to ensure that Iran was hewing to the deal, in exchange for sanctions relief?’ I mean, they were polite not to say it, but they were thinking it.” — SETH MEYERS
The Punchiest Punchlines (Cinco de Mayo Edition)
“Today is Cinco de Mayo, yeah! Cinco de Mayo, or, as Kash Patel calls it, ‘Take Your Tequila to Work Day.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“For those who don’t know, Cinco de Mayo is the day a co-worker in a problematic hat is going to invite you out for margaritas.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“This Cinco de Mayo is extra special because it happens to fall on Taco Tuesday, and there are some festive deals to be had: Taco Bell is offering free Crunchwrap Supremes, and 7-Eleven has a BOGO on burritos. And I’m guessing if you eat more than one 7-Eleven burrito, you BOGO-ing to the hospital.” — STEPHEN COLBERT (BOGO stands for Buy One, Get One free.)
“It’s like if St. Patrick’s Day fell on National Potato Day. It’s how we know God is Mexican.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
Tuesday’s “Late Show” guest, Barack Obama, interrupted Stephen Colbert’s cold open in the former president’s replica Oval Office.
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
Mick Jagger will talk about the forthcoming album from The Rolling Stones, “Foreign Tongues,” on Wednesday’s “The Tonight Show.”
Also, Check This Out
The new Broadway musicals “Schmigadoon!” and “The Lost Boys” lead this year’s Tony Award nominations.
The post Late Night Cringes at Trump’s Chatter in Front of Children appeared first on New York Times.
