JD Vance left troops more baffled than belly-laughing while delivering a turkey of a stand-up bit about Thanksgiving dinner.
Speaking to service members ahead of the holiday at Fort Campbell, Kentucky, on Wednesday, the vice president died onstage after going into comedian mode as he talked about America’s most traditional feast.
“Think about turkey,” Vance, 41, said, setting up his routine in the style of a stand-up comic.
“Be honest with yourselves. Who really likes turkey? You’re all full of s–t,” he said, to a few titters, insisting that nobody actually enjoys it.
“Here’s how I know that every single one of you who raised your hand is lying to me,” he went on. “How many times do you roast an 18-pound turkey randomly…on a nice, summer afternoon?
“Nobody does it, because turkey doesn’t actually taste that good.”
Perhaps not getting quite the reaction he hoped—he said at one point, pointing to one soldier, “I’ve got a fan over here”—Vance ploughed on, adding that he planned to deep-fry one himself.
Though he warned, “If you’ve gotta deep-fry something to make it taste good, it probably isn’t that good.”
Vance eventually tried to tie the bit back to patriotism. “Here’s the thing about Thanksgiving—it is so American because at the heart of it is the spirit of gratitude.”
Online, though, gratitude for Vance’s flop routine was in short supply. “I’ve never seen a vice president bomb on stage,” wrote one X user.
Another said, “Turkeys have more charisma I’m afraid.”
Others called his delivery “condescending” and “awkward,” with one post describing him as an “oddly dressed unshaven man wearing guyliner…disrespecting the most American tradition ever.”
Some users piled on Vance himself. “He is the turkey—nobody actually likes him,” one wrote.
Another mocked, “Republicans think this man can win in 2028. If they do, I’ve got Fort Knox gold to sell.”
Turkey fans also joined the fray. “Go to any deli and turkey is on the menu…all year,” one angry diner-lover posted.
“What a clown.”
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