Americans are cutting ties with people, and a new survey explains why—and honestly, it’s hard to argue with them.
Nearly four in ten Americans (38 percent) went “no contact” with a friend or family member in the last year, according to a new study commissioned by Talkspace and conducted by Talker Research—a survey of 2,000 people timed to Mental Health Awareness Month. The number climbs sharply among younger generations: 60 percent of Gen Z and 50 percent of millennials have cut someone off in the past year, compared to 38 percent of Gen X and just 20 percent of baby boomers.
So what’s driving the exodus? The top answer, cited by 36 percent of respondents, was a lack of respect. After that, 29 percent said the relationship negatively affected their mental health, and 27 percent said the other person was simply too negative. These aren’t exactly shocking revelations. People get tired of feeling bad around people who are supposed to care about them. And once someone goes, they tend to stay gone: 59 percent of those who cut off a loved one in the past year said they’re still not in contact with that person.
The blocking and muting numbers are where things get a little dark. More than a third of Americans (36 percent) blocked a friend or family member on social media last year, and 30 percent booted a loved one from a group chat—gestures that used to signal a full-blown falling out, now executed with roughly the same energy as silencing a work Slack.
Top reasons Gen Z (and Other generations) went “no contact” in the last year:
- They were not respectful to me (36 percent)
- The relationship negatively impacted my mental health (29 percent)
- They were too negative in general (27 percent)
- Their values differed too much from mine (24 percent)
- I outgrew the relationship (19 percent)
- We disagreed about politics or social issues (19 percent)
What’s worth noting here is that avoidance has become the default response to relationship friction. Nearly three-quarters of respondents (73 percent) said they feel inclined to distance themselves from a friend or loved one during difficult moments, rather than communicate openly to solve the problem.
Dr. Nikole Benders-Hadi, chief medical officer at Talkspace, explains, “Avoiding relationship challenges is becoming more common, but that approach can come with its own risks, making it harder to sustain meaningful connections over time and leading to more loneliness.”
And loneliness is winning. Forty-seven percent of respondents said they experience loneliness on a typical day, and 34 percent feel less socially connected now than they did five years ago. Technology fills the gap—or at least papers over it. People reported using self-checkout kiosks (64 percent), online ordering (68 percent), and chatbots (42 percent) specifically to reduce human interaction. Forty percent admitted they’d cross the street to avoid someone they know rather than stop for a five-minute conversation.
None of this exists in a vacuum. Sixty-eight percent of respondents said they struggle to build in-person community, and yet 31 percent said they actually want to get more involved locally. The desire for connection is still there. People just want it on their own, extremely specific terms—which, to be fair, is an understandable thing to want after one too many relationships that left them feeling worse than before.
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