Pop-punk of the 2000s is a smorgasbord of typically male horniness, varying from the unsuspectingly sexual All-American Rejects, to the tragically unfaithful The Killers, to the juvenile gutter-minded Blink-182. Actually, we could dedicate an entire series of lists just to Blink-182’s horny songs. But for the sake of variety, we narrowed it down.
“Mutt” by Blink-182
How to possibly choose just one song from the horny pop-punk maestros themselves? It was definitely difficult, what with such masterworks as “F*** A Dog”, “Blow Job”, “Mother’s Day”, and the lyrical tour de force “Built This Pool”. Clearly, that’s a joke, but there is merit to Blink-182’s versatility. Anyway, “Mutt” ultimately made the cut this time.
Inspired by pro surfer/Tom DeLonge’s former roommate Benji Weatherly and released on Enema of the State (technically 1999 but close enough), “Mutt” features such evocative lyrics as “He wants to bone, this I know, she is ready to blow / They go out every night, his pants are super tight” and “She’s open, waiting for more / And I know he’s only looking to score.” It’s a tribute to Weatherly’s alleged sexual prowess, but also a cautionary tale of the inherent soullessness of meaningless sex.
“Bedroom Talk” by The Starting Line
The Starting Line released their second album, Based on a True Story, in 2005. Their chaotically horny pop-punk track “Bedroom Talk” served as the first single. It starts out innocuous enough, but never lets you know its next move. Is this a reflection on an adolescent sex talk? A nervous first time? A one-night stand? Or is it a little bit of all three?
Lines like “In love with a girl just for tonight and that’s all / I’ve got big, big plans / And they’ve got to mean something more / Than just once / But I just don’t know what I want” indicate some confusion, maybe apprehension. But then it kicks the door down with, “I’m gonna tear your ass up like we just got married / And you’re all mine now.” Essentially, “Bedroom Talk” is more like getting whiplash than listening to a song, but that’s a compliment.
“Scotty Doesn’t Know” by Lustra
Lustra originally wrote “Scotty Doesn’t Know” for the 2004 film EuroTrip, and lyrically relates Scotty’s predicament. Fiona, the girlfriend of the titular Scotty, is cheating on him with Matt Damon as the lead singer of a pop-punk band. Matt Damon’s band performs the song at a party, where it’s beloved by all and eventually gains international acclaim. But, of course, it’s written from the perspective of the guy Fiona is cheating on Scotty with. Major bummer.
Despite this, “Scotty Doesn’t Know” is a certified banger (pun intended, sorry). It’s like the musical embodiment of “if the van’s a-rockin’, don’t come a-knockin’.” As far as horny pop-punk songs go, “Scotty Doesn’t Know” is the cream of the crop, and it was severely underrated for a while. But what goes around typically comes around, and the track often pops up in discussions not unlike this one.
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