Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
More Catholic Than the Pope
Appearing at a Turning Point USA event in Athens, Ga., on Tuesday, Vice President JD Vance commented on Pope Leo XIV’s criticism of the U.S. bombing of Iran, saying the pontiff should “be careful when he talks about matters of theology.”
Stephen Colbert, a fellow Catholic, called Vance, a relatively recent convert, out on Wednesday. “Wow! Hey, hey, hey, JD, I know you’re Catholic, but you joined in 2019, OK?” he said. “I’ve been genuflecting since the mid-1960s.”
“I think you’re out over your Catholic skis here, OK? I think it’s time for you to sit down, then stand back up. Then kneel. Then stand again. Then shake hands with people around you. Then kneel a little more, then go take communion, then go back to your pew for some more kneeling, because you’re not sneaking out of here after communion. Because you know who left the last supper early? Judas.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“You see, the pope’s position is that peace is good, and Donald Trump’s position is that he is Jesus Christ. So JD Vance had to go out there in front of literally dozens of people, and try to argue that the pope was wrong and A.I. Jesus was right.” — RONNY CHIENG
“You got to be careful when you talk about theology, pope! Let me just remind you guys that what the pope basically said was, ‘War is bad.’ That’s not controversial, all right? It’s literally the pope’s job to say things like that. That’s like if Miss America wished for world peace, and JD Vance burst onstage and was like, ‘Oh, yeah, even with Hitler? Stay in your lane, [expletive]!’” — RONNY CHIENG
“This is what I don’t get about guys like JD Vance, OK? How come you have no problem when the pope weighs in on abortion policy, but when he weighs in on your foreign policy, you freak out? I mean, wasn’t assassinating the ayatollah just a very, very, very late-term abortion? The man was in his 258th trimester.” — RONNY CHIENG
The Punchiest Punchlines (Tax Day Edition)
“It’s April 15th. It’s tax day, although you could make a case that every day since November 2024 has been taxing.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“But today is officially that special time of the year when we all pitch in to pay for Melania’s new plane.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Hey, here’s a fun tax day tip: Take however much you owed in taxes this year — let’s say you owed $50,000. Subtract that number from the same number — subtract $50,000 from $50,000. You know what you get? You get the amount Donald Trump paid in taxes this year.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Lots of stores offered tax-day deals today. Krispy Kreme had a deal today where if you buy a dozen doughnuts, you get a second dozen free. I think we can all agree that there is nothing more American than paying your taxes and then eating 24 doughnuts by yourself.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
Zoe Lister-Jones reunited with her “The Miniature Wife” co-star Ronny Chieng on Wednesday’s “Daily Show.”
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
The star of Netflix’s “The Hawk,” Molly Shannon, will appear on Thursday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”
Also, Check This Out
The actor-comedian Billy Crystal will return to Broadway this fall with “860,” a show about the house he lost in the Los Angeles wildfires.
The post Stephen Colbert Wants the Vice President to Lay Off the Pope appeared first on New York Times.
