Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Six Minutes With Melania
The first lady, Melania Trump, summoned reporters at the White House on Thursday for a surprise, nearly six-minute statement denying any relationship with Jeffrey Epstein.
Unbeknown to her husband, Mrs. Trump “emerged from the rubble of the East Wing,” Jimmy Kimmel said.
“She brushed the drywall off her business suit and delivered a doozy of a prepared statement demanding that we stop talking about something no one was talking about.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
During her address, Mrs. Trump denied having any connection with the disgraced financier and explained that she met her husband “by chance” at a party in 1998, as detailed in her memoir, not through Mr. Epstein.
“It’s the same speech he gave her after Stormy Daniels. She just regurgitated it.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“You know somewhere in the White House, Trump, he saw this happening; he spit out a whole gallon of Diet Coke. This is already better than her movie.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“And why is this happening today? He’s spent the past six weeks trying to bomb this Epstein story out of the headlines. Two days after the cease-fire, she puts it right back on top. She must really hate him. I don’t know how else to explain it.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“So, then a reporter gets ahold of Trump, calls his phone, he says, ‘I didn’t know anything about this statement Melania made.’ He didn’t know she was going to do it before she did it, which shows you how smoothly things are running over there.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Only a member of the Trump family could turn a defiant speech about a pedophile into a plug for her book.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Punchiest Punchlines (Woke ‘Jokes’ Edition)
“So while we focus abroad on Iran, the real forever war is happening here. I’m talking about wokeness. We might think it’s dead but really it’s alive and thriving. Reminds me of the time we buried grandma early.” — GREG GUTFELD
“Because ‘wokeism’ is like any cult, they only increase the awfulness when they feel threatened. That’s why Jim Jones led to mass suicide. And why Nirvana led to the Foo Fighters.” — GREG GUTFELD
“But that’s the thing about wokeness: It’s so absurd, no one takes it as real until it becomes a campaign platform and the lunatics go from eating paste in the arts and crafts room to turning the whole world into their asylum.” — GREG GUTFELD
The Bits Worth Watching
The actress and newly minted commander of the Order of the British Empire Carey Mulligan discussed receiving the royal honor from King Charles on Thursday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”
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Pink may be an unlikely choice for this year’s Tony Awards, but the pop star currently has songs in two Broadway musicals.
The post Jimmy Kimmel Salutes Melania’s White House Surprise appeared first on New York Times.
