Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Doubling Back
President Trump announced a “double sided CEASEFIRE” with Iran on Tuesday, just before his previously imposed deadline.
“You’ll remember Trump had threatened to kill a 5,000-year-old civilization at 8 p.m. Eastern,” Stephen Colbert said on Wednesday.
“Trump announced the deal on social media, calling it a double-sided cease-fire. OK, that is cool, but aren’t all peace deals double-sided? I believe there’s a word for a single-sided cease-fire and it’s ‘murder.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Trump explained that he agreed to the cease-fire because, ‘we have already met and exceeded all military objectives.’ It’s true. This war reached all of its objectives. It’s been a week since anyone mentioned the Epstein files.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Trump gave credit to the men who brokered the deal: Prime Minister Shehbaz Sharif and Field Marshal Asim Munir of Pakistan. Well, I think we know who’s winning next year’s FIFA Peace Prize. It’s Donald Trump again.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (Everyone’s a Winner Edition)
“Once again, he made a big threat and backed off, like your dad threatening to pull the car over and turn it around. And that’s why he’s the winner of the first-ever FIFA Peace Prize. He deserves it.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Trump claimed that Iran agreed to open the [expletive] strait, although we’ve seen no evidence of that. And he has kindly decided not to end their civilization. So praise be to Allah. What a time to be alive.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Thankfully, we got a ‘TACO Tuesday’ instead of a ‘War Crimes Wednesday.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“A man who has the nuclear codes written on his stomach in ketchup has the power to wipe a whole country off the map.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“And, of course, the president has declared ‘total and complete victory.’ He said, ‘We’ve met and exceeded all military objectives,’ even though the chief energy adviser for Gulf, the American oil company, said there is only ‘a trickle of oil’ going through the Strait of Hormuz. But you know what? At Trump’s age, a trickle is pretty good.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Iran claims they achieved a historic victory over the United States. They also claim Jesse Watters’s hair is 100 percent natural.” — GREG GUTFELD
The Bits Worth Watching
The “Marty Supreme” star Kevin O’Leary joined the “Gutfeld” panel to discuss a viral video by a Georgia State House hopeful, Suzanna Karatassos, in which she joked that Trump voters should lose their internet access for a full term.
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
The “Euphoria” star Maude Apatow will discuss Season 3 of the returning HBO Max series on Thursday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”
Also, Check This Out
At 40, former teen star Frankie Muniz still can’t shake “Malcolm and the Middle” — and he doesn’t want to.
The post Stephen Colbert Skewers Trump’s ‘Double-Sided’ Cease-Fire appeared first on New York Times.
