People are willing to try just about anything to bring sex back into a relationship. Even if that means sitting down and making a menu for it. Laugh if you want, but couples who’ve tried it say it actually helps.
According to a ZipHealth survey of 1,008 adults in relationships across the U.S. and Canada, 51 percent of couples who created a sex menu said the frequency of sex or physical intimacy increased after doing it. Another 74 percent said it reduced misunderstandings about what each partner wanted, and 79 percent said it helped them discover shared desires they hadn’t known they had.
For anyone picturing a glossy little card with categories and bullet points, the actual idea is pretty simple. A sex menu is just a written list of preferences, interests, boundaries, and hard nos. In other words, a way to stop hoping your partner will magically read your mind and start saying what you actually want.
A Sex Menu Might Be the Fix for Your Boring Sex Life
That alone probably explains why some people are into it. Most couples are still talking about sex the old-fashioned way, meaning casually, vaguely, and with plenty of room for confusion. ZipHealth found that 73 percent of people in relationships communicate about sexual preferences through casual verbal conversations. More than a third, though, said they’re more comfortable discussing preferences in writing than out loud. That’s understandable. A written list can feel safer than trying to say something vulnerable while your brain is also busy wondering whether you sound insane.
The confidence angle is where this gets interesting. Among couples who had tried a sex menu, 84 percent said openly discussing preferences improved their sexual confidence. Among people who hadn’t tried one, that number dropped to 57 percent. That’s a pretty big gap for something that basically amounts to writing things down before anyone gets flustered, defensive, or weird.
The process isn’t always seamless. Forty-three percent of couples said creating a sex menu brought up differences that were difficult to navigate, and 37 percent said it felt uncomfortable at first before getting easier over time. Any tool for better communication that promises zero discomfort, though, is probably selling nonsense.
It’s also worth noting that sex menus are still pretty niche. Only seven percent of people in relationships said they’ve actually made one, though 54 percent said they’d be interested in trying it. So no, couples everywhere are not currently drafting erotic spreadsheets together. But plenty seem open to the idea.
The broader point here feels pretty unsexy, but there’s no way around it. A lot of people want better sex while staying allergic to direct communication. If a menu helps fix that, fine. Embarrassing name, decent idea.
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