This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Crystal McDuffy, a 28-year-old marketing manager based in New York. The following has been edited for length and clarity.
I’ve always known that I wanted to work in tech. I felt that tech would bring me closer to the people and energy I wanted to be around — exciting, innovative, and interesting.
Although the dress code in tech is generally lax, my mom, who works in human resources, taught me about corporate culture and appropriate dress from a young age. I also felt that, as a Black woman, I couldn’t get away with dressing casually in the same way some of my colleagues could.
My level of polish isn’t typical for people entering tech, but it feels necessary to me. I’ve found that the way you dress definitely shapes your outcomes.
I’ve been promoted twice, and my first rating ever at the company was a Superb, the highest rating the company offered at the time.
I landed a Big Tech internship, which turned into a full-time job
When I was in college, a Big Tech company had a recruitment event on my campus. Afterward, I immediately applied for an internship with the company. I showed my application and résumé to a few mentors who had worked at similar companies, and after a bit of tweaking, I sent everything in. I had three behavioral and case interviews, all virtual, and then got an offer a few weeks later.
After the internship ended in 2018, we were first in line to interview for full-time roles. There was a similar interview process as for the internship, but this time with the addition of a writing assignment and an in-person interview.
A few weeks later, I found out I’d gotten the job. Going into my senior year of college with a job offer was a huge relief. After graduating, I started as an associate product marketing manager at the company in September 2019.
I make the effort to look polished
I started dressing up because I really like office wear. I grew up watching my parents wear office clothes, and I thought it was the coolest thing ever. I couldn’t wait to be in a blazer and a pointed pump.
While my colleagues typically wear jeans and sneakers, I usually wear slacks, nice jeans, or a skirt with a button-down shirt and block heels or polished flats. This tends to read more mature, which is what I’m going for.
Crop tops are a no for me — this is a hill I’ll die on. Tight dresses are on a case-by-case basis. My rule is that you shouldn’t be able to see the “shelf” of your butt — where your butt stops and your hamstring starts. If the outline is visible, I feel that the dress is both too tight and probably made of some sort of thin stretchy polyester material, neither of which is acceptable for work.
I occasionally wear sneakers, often paired with something more formal to balance them out, which I feel is fine since I work in a smart-casual office, rather than a business-casual or business-professional one.
I tend to wear light-to-medium makeup, but nothing too glamorous or distracting. On a regular day, putting together my hair, makeup, and outfit takes about 40 to 45 minutes. If I have a special meeting or am going to be on camera or onstage, then I’ll take about an hour and a half.
I dress the way I do because I want to
I’m well aware of the way Black women are perceived, and that it allows much less forgiveness when it comes to certain clothing or grooming choices — specifically, more casual ones.
However, I dress the way I do for work because I want to. I’m aware of how it differentiates me, but that doesn’t mean that I think that everyone — especially all Black women — needs to be as formal as I am, if that’s not what they want.
People at work have commented on my attire, though never as directly as saying, “You dress well, that’s why I promoted you.”
Early in my career, I was invited to present at an important meeting that was pretty advanced for my career level. The person who asked me to present told me she trusted I knew how to act, which I took as a reflection of how I carry myself professionally. She trusted that I wouldn’t dress inappropriately, like wear distressed jeans or show too much cleavage.
A certain level of polish can help you look competent
In most corporate environments, many people can technically do the job. Once you’ve demonstrated basic competence, what starts to matter just as much is how people feel about you. Do you speak with confidence? Do your leaders trust and like you? Are you someone others want in the room?
A certain level of polish helps you look competent, and dressing is a tool to convey the way you want to be.
At the same time, extreme beauty can sometimes work against you. If someone is exceptionally beautiful, their appearance may be top of mind for others, or colleagues may gossip about their looks. When conversations about your appearance start to eclipse your work, that’s not ideal.
Focus first on being taken seriously, then layer in your own style and personality. Wear socks with a heart instead of a shirt with a big heart. Avoid overly long eyelashes or too high heels; I’d stick to a nice mascara or natural-looking artificial lashes, and a heel of a medium height instead.
I’ve been at the company for over six years, and I’m starting to reach the point in my career where I am much more relaxed about how I present myself.
I know the people I work with already perceive me as competent; I’m no longer proving myself. I’m less worried about looking older, but I still put effort into looking put together, as I’m aware of how it can help.
Do you have a story to share about how appearance and beauty standards have shaped your career or workplace experience? Contact this editor, Jane Zhang, at [email protected].
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