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Late Night Says Goodbye to Pam Bondi

April 3, 2026
in News
Late Night Says Goodbye to Pam Bondi

Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.

Bye, Bye, Bondi

In a social media post on Thursday, President Trump announced that Pam Bondi is no longer the attorney general and that “she will be transitioning to a much needed and important new job in the private sector, to be announced at a date in the near future.”

Despite Trump’s referring to Bondi as “a great American patriot and a loyal friend,” Jimmy Fallon said that being fired by the president is “never fun.”

“Kristi Noem was, like, ‘True, but things can definitely get worse.’” — JIMMY FALLON

“The hardest thing about getting fired by Trump is pretending to be sad when he tells you.” — JIMMY FALLON

“Apparently, Trump was also upset that Bondi didn’t go after his enemies. Bondi was, like, ‘So you want me to arrest NATO, Bruce Springsteen and the ice cream machine at McDonald’s?’” — JIMMY FALLON

“Yep, Trump’s on a bit of a firing spree. First, Kristi Noem, then Pam Bondi. Ironically, the only staffer who has immunity is RFK Jr.” — JIMMY FALLON

“Sources say Trump wants someone tougher to execute his plans — and everyone else.” — GREG GUTFELD

“Meanwhile, when Trump realized he fired the woman with access to all the Epstein files, he was, like, ‘Oh, crap. Pam, you’re not fired. You’re redacted.’” — JIMMY FALLON

“[imitating Trump] It’s great, it’s a much-needed job at a very important farm upstate. There will be lots of room for her to run around. Unfortunately, we can’t go visit her. Now let’s go to the strip mall and get you a new attorney general, buddy.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

The Punchiest Punchlines (Artemis Foul Edition)

“After the historic launch of Artemis II, NASA says there was a malfunction with the zero-gravity toilet. They knew this after one astronaut reported, ‘Houston, we have a floater.’” — GREG GUTFELD

“Yeah, suddenly went from $1 billion rocket to a Carnival Cruise in space.” — JIMMY FALLON

“That’s right. For six hours, the astronauts couldn’t use the bathroom. The ground crew was like, ‘Do you have to make an Artemis one or an Artemis two?’” — JIMMY FALLON

“On the old Apollo missions, crews used waste-collection bags. I gotta say, if pooping in a bag is what it takes to be an astronaut, I know a gentleman on the D train who’s got the right stuff.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

The Bits Worth Watching

Stephen Colbert tried to bribe the singer-songwriter Paul Simon into playing a song on Thursday’s “Late Show.”

Also, Check This Out

Zendaya and Robert Pattinson play a couple upended when one partner confesses to coming close to committing a horrific crime in Kristoffer Borgli’s new film, “The Drama.”

The post Late Night Says Goodbye to Pam Bondi appeared first on New York Times.

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