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Stephen Colbert Marvels at ‘No Kings’ Rallies Worldwide

March 31, 2026
in News
Stephen Colbert Marvels at ‘No Kings’ Rallies Worldwide

Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.

Standing Room Only

Thousands of “No Kings” rallies and demonstrations against the Trump administration took place across the country on Saturday.

Stephen Colbert marveled at footage from different cities’ protests on Monday’s “Late Show.” “Just look at the crowd we got here in New York,” he said. “Oop, that’s the T.S.A. line at J.F.K.”

“It’s surprising that the lines were so long, considering all the help they got from I.C.E. I mean, you know the old saying — you know the old saying, ‘If you got time to lean, you’re an I.C.E. agent.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“New York’s actual ‘No Kings’ march was huge, as were the marches in Chicago, in San Diego, Atlanta, Philly and in Boston, Massachusetts. Look at Boston. Now, that last footage there from Boston was either from ‘No Kings’ or the Annual Wahlberg Family Palm Sunday Punch ‘n Munch.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“All told, Saturday was the largest single-day protest ever held in the United States since the first Earth Day back in 1970. That was when millions of Americans showed up in force to protest the Earth.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“It wasn’t only in America. Trump is so unpopular, there were even ‘No Kings’ rallies across Europe, including this large ‘No Kings’ march in London. A ‘No Kings’ march in London must have been awkward.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

The Punchiest Punchlines (T.S.A. Edition)

“It’s easier to get through the Strait of Hormuz than the airport these days.” — BILL MAHER

“So, the latest Plan A Trump had this week was to send ICE to the airport. OK, forgetting that ICE does not perform any sort of task that would be alleviating the actual problem there, so it’s just more people standing around. Plan B was to send to every airport 100 raccoons.” — BILL MAHER

“Airports around the country are returning to normal after Trump signed an emergency order to start paying T.S.A. agents again. And, this is fun: T.S.A. agents celebrated by drinking 3.4 ounces of Champagne.” — JIMMY FALLON

“It’s not good when people who have no money work in a place where water is $6 a bottle.” — BILL MAHER

The Bits Worth Watching

Jon Hamm and Jimmy Fallon performed as the Virgin Soul Singers, Milk and Honey, on Monday’s “Tonight Show.”

What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night

Julio Torres will discuss his new HBO Max standup special, “Color Theories,” on the “Daily Show.”

Also, Check This Out

The Canadian pop idol Celine Dion announced a 10-show run in Paris, beginning in September.

The post Stephen Colbert Marvels at ‘No Kings’ Rallies Worldwide appeared first on New York Times.

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