Sex is normal, sex is natural, and it feels fairly straightforward. But then you’re alone with your thoughts, and you notice just how much you’re thinking about it. Am I too horny? Am I not horny enough? Am I having it enough? Am I normal? It’s an easy rabbit hole to go down, especially when we live in a culture that’s constantly selling it.
The reassuring part is that there’s no approved, universal amount of sex you’re supposed to want or think about. The NHS says there is no right or wrong level of libido, and sex drive can change throughout your life. Stress, hormones, relationship problems, medication, pregnancy, menopause, depression, and general health can all affect it. So if sex crosses your mind a lot, that alone doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you.
It starts to become concerning when you find it hard to manage those thoughts. A high sex drive and a compulsive one are not the same thing. The NHS says addiction involves not having control over doing something to the point where it could be harmful. The World Health Organization’s ICD-11 also includes compulsive sexual behaviour disorder, which refers to an ongoing failure to control intense, repetitive sexual impulses or urges that lead to repeated sexual behavior and real distress or impairment.
Am I Thinking About Sex Too Much?
There’s a difference between wanting sex and being tormented by sexual thoughts. The National Institute of Mental Health says OCD can involve repeated thoughts, urges, or mental images that are intrusive, unwanted, and anxiety-producing. So if sexual thoughts feel unwelcome, relentless, and impossible to shut off, that points to a different issue than simply wanting to get your freak on. It can also be worth checking in with a professional if those thoughts are wrapped up in shame, compulsive porn use, risky behaviour, secrecy, or trouble staying present at work or in relationships.
One more thing. A sudden jump in sex drive can sometimes happen with mania or hypomania. NHS lists a high sex drive alongside other signs such as talking very quickly, getting distracted easily, sleeping very little, and doing risky things with harmful consequences.
So, are you normal? If these thoughts feel welcome, manageable, and basically in proportion with the rest of your life, probably yes. If they feel out of control, distressing, or impossible to stop, that’s your cue to get curious and get help, not to panic.
The post Is It Normal to Think About Sex This Much? appeared first on VICE.
