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Conan O’Brien Delivers a Punchy Cold Open With His ‘Weapons’ Parody

March 16, 2026
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Conan O’Brien Delivers a Punchy Cold Open With His ‘Weapons’ Parody

In the cold open to the 2009 premiere of his notoriously short tenure as host of “The Tonight Show,” Conan O’Brien ran across the country, hurrying through fields and streets and over bridges. With better long-term results, he began the Oscars with a similar stunt, parodying the chase scene in “Weapons,” but in this case, he was done up in the clownish makeup worn by Amy Madigan in that movie, fleeing from one scene of a nominated movie to another, to the Beastie Boys track “Sabotage.”

O’Brien’s tall, gangly body, with his signature shock of red hair, is one of his most reliable comic weapons, and he used it to kick off the show with high-stepping dynamism. Then he moved into a series of jokes that were less loopy and more punchy than last year’s monologue. In his second effort as Oscars host, O’Brien looked more assured in his delivery even when some jokes didn’t land (a gag about memes with Leonardo DiCaprio fizzled).

Everyone knew he would make a joke about Timothée Chalamet’s controversial comments on ballet and opera. The only question was the angle. He went gentle on the actor: “Security is extremely tight. I’m told there are concerns about attacks from both the opera and ballet communities,” he said in a perfect deadpan, before leaning down to intimately level with the actor: “They’re just mad you left out jazz.”

O’Brien nodded to politics, but vaguely, saying that everything is going great, then letting the audience fill in his meaning. And he ended with an ode to optimism that also seemed underdeveloped. You got the sense that he wanted to keep things light but also not ignore topicality — and got a little stuck in between. His strength was in the jokes, their range, density and surprise. Highlights included a sharp jab at Ted Sarandos (who took it gamely) and an especially funny Jeffrey Epstein punchline that drew gasps. After pointing out that no British actors were nominated, he said: “A British spokesperson said, ‘Yeah, well, at least we arrest our pedophiles.’”

My favorite joke was perhaps his nerdiest. “‘F1’ did so well they’re making a sequel: ‘Caps Lock.’” He seemed to anticipate the crowd wouldn’t laugh loudly at this keyboard joke, but I bet it did well at home. And you could tell it was one he loved. That delight came across.

Jason Zinoman is a critic at large for the Culture section of The Times and writes a column about comedy.

The post Conan O’Brien Delivers a Punchy Cold Open With His ‘Weapons’ Parody appeared first on New York Times.

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