Ever since I became a mother, I have seen many acts of kindness.
Like the woman who rushed to give me a paper bag after my child was sick on the bus, hurriedly taking her stuff out of it. Or the waitress who would take my baby and walk around the restaurant with him so I could eat in peace.
Most of these moments of kindness are fleeting, from random strangers I never see again. But one act of kindness led to a lot more than that.
A stranger offered me a double stroller
When my third child was born, he hated being in the stroller and insisted on being in the baby sling.
I was walking home up a steep hill with my oldest on the buggy board and my middle child in the stroller. The baby was in a baby carrier, and my back was aching. It was raining cats and dogs, and we were all drenched.
In my peripheral vision, I saw someone in a car waving at me, assuming they were going to ask for directions, I walked toward them. A lovely woman wound the window down and asked if I wanted a double stroller. She said she saw me walking up and down the hill a lot and was worried about my back.
I was surprised, but I said yes. The next day, I nervously went to collect it with a box of chocolates. We had a wonderful conversation and instantly connected. We exchanged numbers, and she invited me over for breakfast.
This is how I met my friend, Salma. Salma is an amazing cook, and the huevos rancheros for breakfast were amazing. She even made mint tea from scratch.
It was hard to make friends as a mom
The next time we met up, we were going to a coffee shop, but we met at the library first. I was saying goodbye to my friend, Nadia, whom I met when our oldest children went to preschool together.
I was totally out of my depth when my oldest started preschool. It is such a sociable time, but I did not know how to make friends with the other moms. Most of them had older children who had been at the school for years, and they were all friends. It felt impenetrable. Other moms were working moms rushing to office jobs, while I worked from home as a freelance writer. Nadia was my savior. A down-to-earth, genuine, and kind person who came from the same part of Scotland as me. Since we became friends, we have had two more children each, bringing our total to four. Our children have grown up together.
That fateful day, it felt too weird to leave Nadia behind. I looked at Salma, and she said Nadia should come too. We quickly realized how much we all had in common. We don’t talk enough about how friendship is about chemistry. It is something you cannot explain. We all lived in the same area. That is the thing about motherhood, it is not enough on its own to bind. You have to genuinely like each other. Our trio was born.
We support each other
Motherhood was never supposed to be done alone, and thanks to Nadia and Salma, it never has been. But we are more than just mothers. More than our children. When one of us passes a test or achieves something career-wise, we celebrate that too.
For one big birthday, Nadia bought me beautiful earrings, and they remind me of our beautiful friendship every time I wear them. There is something about knowing that these women have my back, that we have created this little village between us.
We have all had a fourth child since we first became friends, and Salma came round with delicious food. I never had that with my other babies, and it made such a difference. Nadia was thoughtful enough to buy lots of baby clothes, which saved my life many times.
Our friendship means that not only are we growing up together, but so are our children. As our families grow together, we troubleshoot together. Asking for advice and reassurance. The emotional support makes all the difference. We keep each other sane through Instagram Reels and sage advice. I know they have my back and that if anything serious happened, they would be there for me. Ditto for them.
We don’t talk enough about how hard it is to make and keep friends. Life always gets in the way despite our good intentions. Having two good friends who are also friends with each other makes me feel like the luckiest woman in the world.
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