Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Would You Rather
President Trump’s mixed messaging on the situation in Iran continued into week two of what he’s referred to as “both” a war and a “little short-term excursion.”
Seth Meyers on Thursday said the president “is letting you choose your own adventure when it comes to how long this war will take” and later called it “the worst [expletive] excursion I’ve ever been on.”
“‘Both?’ So, what, suddenly you’re into Eastern philosophy? [imitating Trump] ‘You know, the end is also the beginning. We exist in the space between nothing and everything. We are with and without. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a meeting with Walton Goggins.’” — SETH MEYERS
“The Trump administration Republicans say the Iran war is both a short excursion and a longer war, and it’s pretty much complete and it’s also just beginning and high oil prices are a sacrifice we have to make, but also oil prices are coming down. And also high oil prices are actually a good thing, and we already won but we might have to stay for four days or five weeks, or six months, jump in the Strait of Hormuz for oil tankers because if it stays closed, oil prices that are coming down will go up and we’ll lose the war we’ve already won. Sure makes sense to me.” — SETH MEYERS
“The Trump administration has been clear from the beginning that the goal of the war is stopping Iran from obtaining a nuclear weapon — or it’s about regime change, or it’s about freedom for the Iranian people, or it’s about destroying their ballistic missile factories, or it’s because Iran posed an imminent threat, or it’s because Israel made us do it, or it’s because this whole time Lindsey Graham has been a trickster god sent here to sow chaos by convincing Trump to go to war.” — SETH MEYERS
“After getting mixed messages, Trump was asked whether the U.S. involvement in Iran is a war or an excursion. And he said, ‘Both.’ Yep, it’s an excursion that’s also a war. It’s like going to IKEA with your spouse.” — JIMMY FALLON
“An excursion? Did you see it on a brochure at the rental car place between snorkeling and cave tours?” — SETH MEYERS
“A war is not an excursion. An excursion is apple picking, which we all know is worse than a war.” — SETH MEYERS
“An excursion is when you go whale watching in the Bahamas or when you take a boat trip to Epstein’s island, which he didn’t do. I want to be clear, Trump did not go to the island. In the over 5,000 Epstein files that reference Donald Trump, not one of them said he went to the island, OK? All he did was fly on Epstein’s plane eight times and called him a terrific guy and sent him a lewd birthday card, and Epstein called him his closest friend for 10 years and they partied together at Mar-a-Lago.” — SETH MEYERS
The Punchiest Punchlines (Aching Ayatollah Edition)
“Meanwhile, today Iran’s new supreme leader issued his first public comments and, weirdly, they were all about Donna Kelce’s home renovations.” — JIMMY FALLON
“It was surprising to hear from the new leader because we know he was injured in the initial attack 13 days ago, and recently reports have been circulating that he was in a coma. Incidentally, ‘Ayatollah in a Coma’ — one of the very worst Dr. Seuss books.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“According to a number of reports, the new ayatollah is in a coma and has lost a leg. Wow, when he wakes up he’ll be hopping mad.” — GREG GUTFELD
The Bits Worth Watching
The Roots improvised songs about St. Patricks’ Day and Harry Styles’ new album during their “Freestylin’” segment on Thursday’s “The Tonight Show.”
Also, Check This Out
George Clinton is bringing a new Mothership on tour with Parliament-Funkadelic, 50 years after premiering his signature intergalactic stage prop.
The post Late Night Unwraps ‘War’ vs. ‘Excursion’ vs. ‘Both’ appeared first on New York Times.
