This as-told-to essay is based on conversations with Diana Choi, a 39-year-old founder in Vancouver, Canada. It has been edited for length and clarity.
In 2008, I graduated and moved to New York. I spent the year interning and then attending graduate school at The New School. After finishing my program in September 2011, I began working at the Asia Society, a global nonprofit.
After realizing the path wasn’t the right fit, I moved to Hong Kong to work for Lane Crawford, one of the region’s largest luxury retailers. It looked glamorous, but I burned out, so I resigned.
It was 2016, I had just turned 30, and I didn’t want to stay in Asia. My dad suggested I come home to Vancouver to regroup and restore my health.
It was meant to be a short-term reset, but I’m still here, 10 years later.
Suddenly, I was 30, living at home again
I had no clear sense of what I wanted next. At first, the shift from an extremely fast-paced life to a slower one felt like relief. My mental and physical health improved. Over time, that stillness began to feel like stagnation.
After about three months off, I got antsy and joined my dad’s medical distribution company. I traveled with him for about two years, all the while searching for other job opportunities.
I don’t recommend living, working, and traveling with your parents. I felt like he treated me like a child, almost like an intern, and wouldn’t let me make important decisions. I had been in a managerial role in Asia, leading teams and projects. That disconnect was probably why I ultimately decided to quit.
Despite the challenges, there were unexpected upsides to living at home
I’ve worked as a business development consultant for a luxury concept store and briefly served as a marketing communications manager for two separate Canadian tech companies. These jobs have helped me contribute financially to household expenses. I help cover groceries and shared costs, including our monthly cleaning service and auto insurance.
Beyond the financial flexibility and being able to be selective about the opportunities I say yes to, it’s also given me a much calmer nervous system.
Living together as adults healed parts of my relationship with my parents, especially as they’ve gotten older. I left home for boarding school at 16, so I’d never spent extended time as an adult with them. The past decade gave me that, and it taught me patience and compromise, skills I think will come in handy one day when I cohabitate with someone and start my own family.
Another bonus is the comfort of knowing that the house will always be clean and neat.
There are definite trade-offs
I have a curfew, and it feels like a personal regression.
Living with parents as an adult can be emotionally and socially challenging: being treated like a “child” again, navigating boundaries, and dating have been complicated.
Some men I’ve dated didn’t mind; others questioned it openly, and in at least one case, it felt like a dealbreaker. On dates, my mom would call me at midnight and ask, “When are you coming home?”
I haven’t found many high-paying jobs in Vancouver
Not making much money is why I’ve stayed at home longer than planned, but that flexibility ultimately gave me the space to start my own consulting business for beauty and lifestyle brands.
Over time, that business grew, giving me the confidence and runway to start building my consumer brand, Vibes of Grace, a K-beauty brand for people with sensitive and reactive skin, which I’m fully self-funding. I’ve been able to save around $70,000 across investments, business savings, and retirement contributions by living at home.
When you’re an entrepreneur, you’re constantly navigating uncertainty, risk, and decision fatigue. Having something steady, like a consistent routine and a solid home, has been grounding for me. It gives me a sense of peace and stability, helping me stay focused and perform better at work.
I’m entering my 40s soon, and I don’t want to keep living with my parents forever
Hopefully, by the end of the year, I’ll move out, depending on how the brand launch goes. Ten years feels like a good moment to enter a new chapter.
I used to feel embarrassed about living at home for so long. I don’t anymore. As a founder and entrepreneur, I now see it as a privilege that gave me the freedom to be selective, take risks, and build something aligned.
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