You’ve likely heard of “spring cleaning,” which is when you take stock of everything in your physical space, tossing old items, reorganizing closets, scrubbing dirty surfaces, etc. But have you ever performed an emotional spring cleaning?
Deep cleaning has always been my go-to when feeling stagnant. I love cleansing my space and renewing my energy, especially if it helps cultivate a less cluttered environment. However, the older I get, the more I realize how crucial it is to practice emotional cleansing, too.
Stephen Sideroff, Ph.D., Associate Professor in the Department of Psychiatry & Biobehavioral Sciences at UCLA and Director of the Raoul Wallenberg Institute of Ethics, wrote a Psychology Today article on this idea. He explained that the goal of emotional spring cleaning, which he also calls “internal house cleaning,” is “to let go of unnecessary emotional baggage that can only distract me and you from being more fully present.”
“Just like ‘spring cleaning’ and getting rid of material clutter, it’s important to be current with your emotions, always on the lookout for distracting feelings or feelings that get in the way of close relationships,” he wrote. “Remember, you can get angry or sad all you want, but if you don’t make the appropriate connection to what the feelings are about, they will come around again and again.”
Looking to relieve yourself of some mental tension? Here are three steps to performing emotional spring cleaning this season.
1. Sit Still and See What Comes Up
Sometimes, we get so caught up in our daily routines that we fail to acknowledge our deepest emotions. If you really want to understand what’s happening in your internal world, sit still with yourself and allow your feelings to surface without judgment.
This can be a difficult practice—trust me, I know. Any time I feel the slightest bit of anxiety, resentment, anger, or really any other negative emotion, it is immediately met with shame. I criticize myself for nearly everything I feel, labeling myself as “too sensitive” or even “selfish” for having basic human wants and needs.
Shame will not help you here. Let yourself feel exactly what it is you’re feeling, even if it seems irrational, unfair, or inconvenient. Remember: these are your emotions, not your actions. They don’t need to be grounded or rational all the time.
2. Trace Your Feelings to Their Core
Now that you know what you’re feeling, it’s time to understand why you’re feeling it. Be careful, however, not to over-intellectualize your emotions during this step. Acknowledge where your frustration or sadness is stemming from, then decide what you’re going to do about it.
For example, you might need to make changes in your career life, air out your grievances with a friend, set firmer boundaries with your mother, or stop-overgiving in your romantic relationship. Or, perhaps you just need to accept and release the feeling, making a conscious decision and effort to move forward. Sometimes, all our emotions need is to be fully seen and felt. Which leads me to my next point…
3. Allow Yourself to Feel the Emotions
If you don’t let yourself feel your emotions, you’ll never be able to fully process them. To release your intense feelings, you might need to physically move your body, journal it out while crying over your notebook, or have a deep talk with a trusted loved one or therapist.
No matter what you do, avoid pushing your emotions further down, denying or rejecting their existence. It’s basically the emotional equivalent of letting clutter pile up in your bedroom. This will only cause them to fester.
The post 3 Steps to Get a Mental Reset With an Emotional Spring Cleaning appeared first on VICE.
