Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
State of the Union (Extended Version)
President Trump’s State of the Union address went so long on Tuesday that “Jimmy Kimmel Live” had to start shooting the host’s response before the president had finished.
“We said, ‘He’s probably still going, right?’” Jimmy Kimmel said. “Which is a problem, because Mike Johnson’s bedtime is 9 o’clock sharp.”
“What a speech it wasn’t, huh? I can’t believe America missed an all-new ‘Will Trent’ for this one.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
Kimmel called the president’s speech “angry,” and summed up its theme as “all foreigners are murderers.”
“He said zero illegal aliens have been allowed into the United States on his watch, but the door is always open to those who come in legally to be his next wife.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“He bragged about ending D.E.I., he bragged about kicking two million people off food stamps. It was like a Christmas message from the Grinch.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Trump applauded the efforts of a World War II vet who liberated an internment camp, at the same time he is building new ones here in the United States. He claimed gas is down to $1.85 a gallon. When you ramble mostly incoherently for two hours is that technically still a speech or does it at some point become a conniption fit?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Punchiest Punchlines (Long-Winded Edition)
“But tonight, Trump’s speech focused on his major accomplishments and when those eight seconds were up, he just riffed for an hour and a half.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Trump told us in advance that the speech was going to be long and, for once, he was telling the truth.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Oh yeah, I think we’re all expecting that. You’re incapable of being brief. Even if you were just going to read a haiku, I would expect two intermissions.” — SETH MEYERS
“The speech went on so long, Kristi Noem’s dog shot itself.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“They do need to hire an orchestra to play him off like the Oscars. At the stroke of 90 minutes, go straight into ‘Y.M.C.A.’ and end it.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
The “Scream 7” star Courteney Cox talked about returning to the famed horror franchise on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
Teyana Taylor, a first-time Oscar nominee, will appear on “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.”
Also, Check This Out
Lee Krasner, the Abstract Expressionist artist, will get equal billing with her husband, Jackson Pollock, in “Krasner and Pollock: Past Continuous,” opening at the Metropolitan Museum of Art this fall.
The post Jimmy Kimmel Goes Live After a Super Long State of the Union appeared first on New York Times.
