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Dear Abby: My son’s house is so filthy that it’s affecting my breathing

April 11, 2026
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Dear Abby: My son’s house is so filthy that it’s affecting my breathing

DEAR ABBY: I’m an ophthalmologist, a physician who specializes in medical and surgical eye care, and I’m hoping you can help me debunk a common myth about eye health. Many assume eye disease happens only to older adults. While age does increase the risk of developing certain vision-threatening diseases, such as age-related macular degeneration, glaucoma and cataracts, younger people can also develop vision-threatening eye conditions.

This is particularly true for the nearly 40 million Americans living with diabetes. Diabetic retinopathy, a complication that damages blood vessels in the retina, is now the leading cause of blindness among working-age adults in the USA. The solution is surprisingly simple — a medical eye exam — but most people aren’t getting one.

Abby, regular eye exams and timely interventions can reduce the risk of severe vision loss by more than 90%. However, only about 60% of people with diabetes receive the annual dilated eye examinations recommended by the American Academy of Ophthalmology. Ophthalmologists have more tools than ever for diagnosing and treating eye diseases.

For people worried about the cost, the Academy’s EyeCare America program may be able to help. ALL healthy adults should have a comprehensive eye exam by age 40, when early signs of cataract, glaucoma and age-related macular degeneration may begin to emerge. — LAURA FINE, M.D., OPHTHALMOLOGIST AND EYECARE AMERICA VOLUNTEER

DEAR DR. FINE: I am pleased to share with my readers that EyeCare America has expanded from a seniors-only program. Readers, EyeCare America is a national public service program, and it offers no-out-of-pocket-cost medical eye exams with volunteer ophthalmologists to qualified individuals aged 18 and over. To find out if you or your loved ones are eligible, visit www.aao.org/eyecare-america/patients.

DEAR ABBY: My son and his wife work full time. They have two kids, ages 11 and 9. Their house is filthy. It smells awful, and it’s dirty and very dusty. My breathing is affected every time I go to their house.

I have suggested a housekeeper, but my son refuses to have one. Although his wife works full time, she is the only one who cleans and does the laundry and shopping. My son and the kids do nothing. They have asked me on several occasions to watch their animals when they go on vacation, and I have. However, it is becoming more and more difficult for me to do that because I can’t stand being in their house.

I’m not sure how to tell them without hurting their feelings that I cannot do this anymore. It really is affecting my breathing. Can you help me with how to tell them their house is filthy or maybe what else to say? — COVERING MY NOSE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR COVERING: If your breathing is being affected when you visit your son’s house, you may be allergic to something in the home. It might be dust or, more likely, animal dander. Discuss this with your doctor so you can be tested. Then tell your son and his wife that because it is affecting your health, you can no longer take care of their animals when they travel.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

The post Dear Abby: My son’s house is so filthy that it’s affecting my breathing appeared first on New York Post.

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