Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Two Weeks Notice
Early Tuesday, President Trump threatened to destroy Iran if the Strait of Hormuz remained closed. That evening, he instead said there was a two-week cease-fire.
Jimmy Kimmel referred to the day’s events as “probably the most dangerous episode of ‘The Celebrity President’ yet.”
“It was D-Day. In this case, the ‘D’ stands for dementia.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Really, this is the same man that was just bitching about losing the Nobel Peace Prize, now he’s threatening a civilization with death. He went from Mahatma Gandhi to General Zod like that.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“So all day today, everyone, most notably the people of Iran, were wondering if their civilization was going to die tonight. Well, good news, it didn’t. It was the Taco Tuesday of all Taco Tuesdays and our president decided not to drop the chalupa for at least another two weeks.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“He announced that at the request of Pakistan, which has been facilitating negotiations, he was giving Iran two weeks to live. This is how it goes every single time. Trump says something insane — he says, ‘I’m going to kill everybody tomorrow at 5 p.m.’ — we all freak out, and then he’s like, ‘Actually, I’ll kill everyone in two weeks.’ And then we relax and then he forgets he ever said it in the first place. He has the memory and the skin color of a goldfish.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Maybe the worst part of all is how relaxed the congressional Republicans are about it. Now, he threatens to annihilate a civilization, they’re like, ‘Well, you know how he is. He’s a big talker, he yaps.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“And it’s always two weeks. He’s like a conscientious employee. He always gives two weeks’ notice.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Punchiest Punchlines (Mixed Messages Edition)
“Trump has promised to deliver this civilization-ending blow tonight at 8 p.m. Eastern. So, bad news: the world might end. Good news: not until after ‘Wheel of Fortune.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Trump concluded his threat to Iran by saying, ‘God bless the great people of Iran!’ Kind of a mixed message there. Like when Godzilla wore a T-shirt that said ‘I heart Tokyo.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Meanwhile, Iran has refused to give in to Trump’s demands, and yesterday, the regime called on ‘all young people, athletes, artists, students and university students and their professors to form human chains around power plants.’ Kind of an interesting choice of who they called on there. The statement continued, ‘anyone who might be part of a protest movement, please line up single file in front of the power plant. Dress code is business flammable.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Bits Worth Watching
The singer-songwriter Brandi Carlile covered Alphaville’s “Forever Young” on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
Mitski will perform a track from her new album, “Nothing’s About to Happen to Me,” on Wednesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”
Also, Check This Out
The stars of “Cats: The Jellicle Ball” strut and duckwalk in a queer ballroom reappraisal of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s 1981 musical.
The post Late Night Puzzles Over Trump’s ‘Mixed Message’ on Iran appeared first on New York Times.
