Shortly after I turned 26 years old, I moved from the buzz of New York City to the palm tree-lined town of Bluffton, South Carolina, just across the bridge from the resort island of Hilton Head.
It was perhaps an odd choice for a young woman who was hungry to live a big, exciting life in a city.
A few weeks before my move, I’d flown down to South Carolina to interview for a job as a reporter at the local newspaper, and immediately, the local flora drew me in. I was enchanted by the shades of green, the towering southern live oaks with Spanish moss, the cabbage palmettos, and southern magnolias.
Ultimately, I decided to move for two reasons: the lower cost of living than pricey NYC, certainly, but also the promise of adventure in a place that felt wild and practically foreign to me.
The ‘Great South Carolina Adventure’ wasn’t at all what I expected
I felt excited but nervous to start this new chapter. I was embarking on the second half of my 20s and hoped to meet similarly-aged friends who were also up for enjoying life.
This was also the first time I had moved to a place where I didn’t know anyone. I was starting my social life from scratch, without the help of college or graduate-school friends, and I hadn’t yet built up my friendship-making abilities as an adult.
I didn’t realize I lacked those skills, and I underestimated how difficult it’d be to gain them.
Although I was on good terms with my roommate and coworkers, I found that converting those casual interactions into something deeper was harder than expected.
Many people living on the island were retirees, middle-aged parents with young children, or yacht owners staying at local resorts. I found it difficult to deeply connect with people far outside my age range and tax bracket, or who were in such different phases of life.
Aside from that, the town was packed with many tourists who’d be gone in just a few days’ time. So I found myself spending a lot of time alone.
I don’t mind my own company, but too much alone time can start to feel isolating quickly. After a couple of months, I began to worry that life was passing me by in the peak of my 20s.
Paradise turned out to be a lonely place, but I found my own joy
One thing about me remains true: Even if I’m riding solo, I rarely feel bored. I always find a way to spend my time.
For one, I was pleased to have plenty of time to explore this strange and wild natural landscape in this neck of South Carolina.
I found comfort in Pinckney Island, a wildlife refuge between Bluffton and Hilton Head that became a sanctuary for me as much as the wading birds who lived there. I also dedicated some weekends to driving up to North Carolina and hiking in the beautiful Great Smoky Mountains.
I read books I’d put off for years, finally taking on intimidating Russian tomes. I also began listening to audiobooks on my walks, returning to old favorites from Jane Austen, the Brontës, and Charles Dickens.
I also picked up a totally new hobby: working out. I hired a personal trainer and began to take strength training seriously for the first time in my life, which has remained an integral part of my daily routine ever since.
Finally, crucially, I saved a lot of money since I wasn’t spending much on going out or socializing. That money ultimately allowed me to follow through on my dream of moving to Europe in 2018. I was in Budapest for two years, and now I’ve lived in London for nearly six.
That quiet, lonely time changed the trajectory of my life
I do still mourn the fact that I feel I missed out on having fun, embracing friendships, dating, and connecting with others during those mid-20s years. To an extent, I’ve felt like I’ve had to play catch-up on my social life.
I only lived in South Carolina for a year and a half, and sometimes I wonder if it was an Alice-in-Wonderland-like daydream. Had I conjured that lush landscape in my imagination? Were those South Carolina magnolias actually the remnants of sweetness from a dream?
But the photos on my camera roll prove that this time in my life did, indeed, happen. And although it was lonely, I don’t regret it. I’m a healthier and more well-read person because of that time. I saved money and changed my life because of it.
And although I love London, sometimes in wintertime I look up at the dreary skies and wish I could go back to green, sunny South Carolina for just a day.
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