Do you share a Netflix or Hulu account with your partner? In this economy, it’s definitely a common move. In fact, according to a new survey from Hily Dating App, 83 percent of Gen Z and Millennial American daters say they would share a streaming account with a romantic partner to save money.
But…what happens if you break up?
“Sharing accounts can often signify a big step in mutual trust and closeness,” says Dr. Sabrina Romanoff, relationship expert at Hily Dating App and a Harvard-trained clinical psychologist. “Sometimes people take this step too quickly, as they don’t necessarily consider the effects and consequences of disentangling from this ‘shared asset.’”
The data confirms this: Among couples who share a streaming account, nearly 1 in 3 individuals continued using their ex’s account after the breakup. What’s more, a quarter of those exes did so for over a year after the breakup, the survey found.
It’s no shock that sharing a streaming account with your partner saves money, but continuing to use the account after your breakup can cause unnecessary drama. Dr. Romanoff shares three ways to address an ex who still uses your account—so you can finally cut all ties with them.
1. Explain Your Boundaries Around Your Shared Account
If you and your ex had an amicable split, have a respectful, honest conversation about how you will allocate your streaming services in the future.
“The most effective way to handle this is to be as direct, neutral, and boundaried in how you talk with them, so there is no room for ambiguity or uncertainty, and it won’t lead to conflict,” Romanoff says. “For example, one way to do this is to send a message with the goal of providing a logistical update to the plan, instead of framing it as a critique or punishment against them. This will help you both get aligned on separating ‘assets’ and moving forward in a way that’s healthiest and best for you both.”
2. Change the Password Without Communication
I once dated a guy who was too cheap to invest in any of his own streaming accounts, so I let him use mine throughout the relationship. We didn’t share the account fairly—I paid for it, and he used it for free. At the time, this didn’t bother me, as I was happily in love and didn’t consider the idea of us potentially breaking up.
But when I caught him still streaming on my account after dumping me and dragging my heart through the mud for weeks after, I kicked him off with no warning and no shame.
Of course, this was more for my own comfort than for the sake of pettiness. I couldn’t handle having any sort of attachment to the man who broke my heart, and I knew starting another conversation with him would just pull me back into his mind games.
“Simply change the password if you feel unsafe or not secure enough to open back up communication with them,” Dr. Romanoff recommends. “This can often be the easiest option, as it doesn’t open Pandora’s box and is most protective of your wellbeing.”
3. Give Them a Head’s Up
A combination of the above two options is to give your ex a fair warning before changing your password or kicking them off your account. That way, you’re still setting a boundary while also respecting their space.
“The last option could be to give them advance notice of when this will happen. For example, you could tell them, ‘Just a heads up, I’m updating my streaming subscriptions next week,’” says Romanoff. “This doesn’t get into any personal details, but gives them just enough information and time so they don’t feel blindsided.”
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