Following the Feb. 1 letters package “Flirting is trickier than ever. Here’s how to approach it.,” Post Opinions asked readers: “How soon do you bring up politics when getting to know someone? Is a first date too soon?” Here are some of the responses.
After a few encounters with a person, I simply ask, “Do you lean left or right?”
If they lean to the right, I never bring it up again.
Peggy Jones, St. Louis
Don’t wait past the second date to bring up politics. Save yourself from the possibility of a nasty surprise.
James Hey, Dixon, Illinois
Some people lead lives devoid of politics and may connect with someone on a completely different level. But look at the city in this newspaper’s name. In this polarized area in this polarized society, a first date is too late.
Eric Greene, Annapolis
I would not have anything to do with anyone who supports this administration, so I ask about politics the first time I speak to someone. It is a dealbreaker for me.
Liz Rubin, St. Petersburg, Florida
Why waste a fourth, third, second or even first date to find out your political beliefs are incompatible? Better to be upfront in your profile and eliminate an unnecessary first date in the first place. Or wear a bright-red MAGA hat in your picture and the seeker can swipe left or right accordingly.
Bruce Berkowitz, Boston
Bring up politics with people immediately. Thereby, you can get a sense of whether to continue the relationship — or whether it’s possible to change the person’s mind.
Bernard Cleyet, Salinas, California
The duration of time to wait (or not) is inversely correlated with one’s purpose for bringing up politics in the first place. On a first date, one would hope listening is for learning rather than for formulating an argument.
Steve Muratore, Rochester, New York
I used to believe that somebody’s politics were not a dealbreaker. For decades, I had a broad mix of friends and clients, and more often than not when we had a conversation, we found that we shared a lot of the same values, even if we differed on solutions.
That is no longer the case. It is nearly impossible to look at what is happening in this country and believe that our values have not diverged. People are being wantonly killed by federal agents in American streets. Few of those named in the Epstein files, including the sitting president, will likely ever be held accountable. It’s as though some people on the right will jump through any hoop to justify what has happened, rather than take a hard look at what we have become.
It’s a cliché because it’s a truth inherent to our time: If you’re not outraged, you’re not paying attention.
At this point, I won’t even go on a first date with someone without an idea of their political leanings. If you are MAGA, it’s a hard no. Not because of “politics” but because our values are so far out of alignment that it’s not even worth considering.
Angela McLaughlin, Chico, California
If you’re a “likes to talk politics” person? Maybe broach the subject with a lighter political topic and see what kind of response is elicited — not just the words but also the vibe of the response. In the dating world, I find politics isn’t the best topic to engage in, though I’ve had dates where I’ve gotten into it with someone who knows what they’re talking about, and it’s be very stimulating. Sometimes, different points of view can even be exciting. (You know what they say about opposites attracting!) Just remember it’s a date and not a “win this discussion” thingy. Ease your toe into that hot water.
Paul Enfield, Clovis, California
Politics is a touchy subject, especially at the old folks’ home where I live. You either stay away from the subject altogether, or you are told by others who are the rabid Trump supporters and to avoid them. The attitude is let them eat and socialize with others of their ilk.
What’s most troubling about the erosion of civility, consideration and kindness is that we are supposed to be — and we are — bound together in our last years of life, caring for each other through illnesses, encouraging each other to enjoy our remaining time together, and uniting in love and unity without politics, war and incivility affecting so much of our existence.
Kathy A. Megyeri, Washington
A great match on paper
Reading the March 22 Business article “Thousands have swooned over this MAGA dream girl. She’s made with AI.,” I wondered: Where are the Mills Brothers when we need them?
I’m gonna buy a paper doll that I can call my own
A doll that other fellows cannot steal
And then the flirty, flirty guys with their flirty, flirty eyes
Will have to flirt with dollies that are real
When I come home at night, she will be waiting
She’ll be the truest doll in all this world
I’d rather have a paper doll to call my own
Than have a fickle-minded real live girl
Robert Castrodale, Chelan, Washington
The man behind the curtain
Keith B. Richburg’s March 23 online column, “Only a certain type of leader wants his face everywhere,” noted that President Donald Trump, “a real estate mogul with a clear edifice complex,” has plastered his face on government buildings and added his name to the Institute of Peace and the Kennedy Center.
Before Trump, one’s reaction to a three-story banner displaying the image of a sitting president staring down from the facade of the Robert F. Kennedy Department of Justice Building might have been to conclude it was an act of a leftist guerilla theater group attempting to portray a menacing authoritarian.
Displayed as it is with Trump’s imprimatur, it speaks rather of the Wizard of Oz: authority whose power is manifested by the invocation of fear and illusion.
David Sussman, San Jose
The March 24 front-page article “Preservationists seek to halt Kennedy Center renovation” left me reeling from the egotism of both renaming this iconic cultural center and the flimsy narrative that it requires $200 million in repairs and alterations. I commend Rep. Joyce Beatty (D-Ohio) and Greg Werkheiser, founding partner at Cultural Heritage Partners, for their efforts to block the shutdown of this grand performing arts center.
We need Democrats to win big in November so Congress has the power to paraphrase Lloyd Bentsen’s famous statement to Dan Quayle in the 1988 vice-presidential debate: “Mr. President, you’re no Jack Kennedy.”
Gilbert Whisnant, Jamestown, North Carolina
President Donald Trump has indicated on Truth Social that, for his first time in office, he will attend White House Correspondents’ Association’s annual dinner next month.
Trump turned every American journalist into a domestic war correspondent on Jan. 6, 2021, and does so again every time he declares the free press enemies of the people. He employs a tactic used in war: dehumanizing one’s enemies. He does this often with individual reporters, mostly women and mostly of color.
The association should disinvite Trump from the correspondents’ dinner — or say they’re shutting it down for remodeling until 2029.
Robert Vukovic, Salton City, California
Complete and total, and incomplete and partial
In his March 25 column, “In their game of chicken, Trump and Iran tap the brakes at last,” David Ignatius reported on President Donald Trump’s threat to “obliterate” Iran’s power plants. This comes amid similarly worded threats and Trump’s claim last year that U.S. strikes had “obliterated” Iran’s nuclear capabilities. It obliterates me how many times a country that has to be obliterated has to be obliterated before it has been obliterated.
Ridley Nelson, Great Falls
Post Opinions wants to know: Do you have experience dating someone with different political beliefs? How did it go, and what did you learn? Send us your response, and it might be published as a letter to the editor. wapo.st/purple_dating
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