People call someone a pathological liar the way they call someone a narcissist or a gaslighter. It gets thrown around a lot, usually when somebody is annoying, shady, or impossible to trust. The actual meaning is more specific, and it’s an actual problem.
In SELF’s recent piece, psychiatrist Christina Ni, MD, said pathological lying is “a behavioral pattern, not a standalone illness recognized in the DSM-5,” and added that it can reflect “deeper psychological distress and vulnerability.” In other words, this is not your average guy who says he’s “five minutes away” while still in the shower. Here’s what psychologists say actually points to pathological lying.
1. They lie compulsively
Everybody lies sometimes. Pathological lying is different because dishonesty becomes the default. Drew Curtis, PhD, told SELF, “We’re looking at about 9 to 10 lies a day, on average.” The dishonesty gets so constant that it can seem almost reflexive, like lying is the first response their brain offers up.
2. They do it across every part of life
This isn’t confined to one bad relationship, one job interview, or one story they keep inflating at brunch. Curtis said that pathological lying stretches across relationships, topics, and settings. Family, coworkers, acquaintances, strangers, all of them can get the same treatment. When dishonesty happens everywhere, that’s a much darker sign than somebody exaggerating a dating-app profile.
3. The lie has no clear payoff
A lot of lies have a visible goal. Avoid punishment, impress somebody, get out of trouble, save face. Ni said that pathological lies “provide no obvious benefit.” The person might lie to feel “worthy, accepted, or in control,” even when the subject is trivial. That’s part of what makes dealing with them so maddening. You keep looking for the angle, and you just can’t find it.
4. They make things up that are easy to debunk
You might assume a serious liar would at least be good at it. Apparently, no. Psychiatrist Owen Scott Muir, MD, told SELF, “pathological liars tell lies all the time, making them comically easy to fact-check.” These are the people who claim they ran a marathon that you can verify they never ran, or tell three different versions of the same story to three people who know each other.
5. They feel bad afterward and still keep doing it
This is where it gets complicated. Curtis said that many people in his research felt remorse “hours, even days, later,” and would ruminate over why they lied. Ni added that the lie can temporarily reduce insecurity or fear of rejection, which explains why guilt alone doesn’t stop it. If someone lies constantly, gets caught constantly, and still looks genuinely distressed, that may be a clue you’re dealing with compulsion, not manipulation.
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