The foil-embossed invitation for a destination wedding on a tropical island hits your mailbox, and the instinct is familiar: make an excuse, and quietly hope no one asks why. For tens of millions of Americans, that excuse has a name, and it’s not one they’re willing to say out loud.
Two-thirds of Americans have skipped at least one social commitment in the past two years because they just can’t afford it, according to a new survey from the CFP Board shared with Fortune. The events they’re missing out on aren’t always luxuries. They’re birthday dinners, concerts, holiday gatherings, as well as group vacations and weddings.
But in most cases, people hide the real reason they can’t accept the invitation. Of those who declined invitations, 56% never told their friends or family that money was the reason why they couldn’t attend, according to the report. CFP Board, the professional body for personal financial planners, surveyed more than 1,100 Americans aged 25 to 64 in January for the study.
Most Americans are skipping social events to save money—and staying silent about it
The silence is telling, and it’s only making Americans lonelier and anxious about sharing their financial status with friends and family.
“Lately I’ve been turning down invites to hang out because I just can’t afford it, and it’s starting to make me feel guilty,” a Reddit user posted late last year. “I don’t want my friends to think I don’t care about them but even small things like dinner or drinks add up too much right now.”
The problem is so widespread that personal finance creators have even posted guides to politely declining invitations for this very reason.
“You guys know that when you get invited to a wedding or a bachelorette, you can say no,” SoFi’s chief of financial empowerment, Vivian Tu, posted in an October 2025 TikTok video.
@yourrichbff No, you don’t actually have to go to every single bachelorette party you get invited to! Here’s how to decline an invite without sacrificing a friendship. #money #finance #financialfreedom #podcast #bachelorette ♬ original sound – Vivian | Your Rich BFF
“One in three people are going into debt for their friends’ weddings,” Tu continued, referencing a New York magazine story about bridesmaids going into debt. She suggests being open and honest about the reasons you have to decline the invitation.
She suggests saying: “Congratulations on your engagement, friend! I’d be honored to be your bridesmaid. But I need to be transparent that I’m paying off my credit card bill and saving for a down payment on a home.”
“And my budget is XYZ,” she continued. “But I don’t want your vision for your special day and big events to be restricted by me, so it’s completely okay if I come as a guest and support you in other ways.”
How financial stress is making America’s loneliness epidemic worse
The U.S. was already grappling with what health officials have called a loneliness epidemic, and the cost-of-living crisis has only intensified it. A November 2025 poll from the American Psychological Association shows more than six in 10 U.S. adults say societal division is a significant source of stress in their lives.
“This year’s findings show that people across the nation are not just feeling divided, they’re feeling disconnected,” Arthur C. Evans Jr., PhD, and CEO of APA, said in a statement. “Research tells us that a sense of isolation and social fragmentation can have real consequences for our ability to manage stress and stay healthy.”
And a May 2025 study from the University of Southern California found financial strain is directly linked to higher rates of anxiety and loneliness, and those effects compound over time.
“Because this strain is based on how people perceive their financial stability, not just how much they earn or what degrees they hold, it may better reflect the lived reality of daily stress and coping capacity,” said psychologist Deborah Finkel, a research scientist at USC Dornsife’s Center for Economic and Social Research who led the study.
Gen Z and millennials can’t afford their social lives—and it’s getting worse
For younger Americans, the math is especially brutal. A Harvard Kennedy School poll from 2025 found 42% of Americans under age 30 say they’re “barely getting by” financially, and a Bank of America study found more than half of Gen Z says they don’t feel as if they make enough money to live the life they want.
The new CFP Board data illustrates just how far the social fallout from financial constraints extends. The events Americans are missing include group trips or vacations, dining out with friends, concerts or sporting events, family holiday gatherings, and weddings. Single Americans are more likely to keep quiet about it, with 63% saying they hid the financial reason for their decline, compared with 55% of married people.
CFP Board deems this phenomenon as financial FOMO. It’s not just about missing a good time, it’s about feeling “out of sync” with their friends’ spending, including on housing, travel, career, progress, and debt payoff. Nearly half say the financial situations of people close to them have significantly shaped how they view their own money.
Despite this, the CFP Board also found that financial conversations are still taboo. More than 80% of Americans intentionally avoid at least one money topic with those close to them. A July 2025 AMFM Healthcare survey also found 79% of Americans say money worries have worsened, straining relationships and costing sleep.
But some Americans have recognized the need for more transparency to avoid social isolation.
“I’ve started being honest about it and suggesting stuff like ‘hey, let’s just hang at someone’s place instead’ or go for walks,” another Reddit user posted. “Real friends get it, and the ones who don’t probably aren’t worth stressing over anyway.”
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