Some people can leave you feeling fully drained after a little too much time together. It could be an exhausting phone call, a tense family dinner, or a work meeting you dread before it even starts. They just make things…hard.
According to a new study published in PNAS, that type of social stress could be doing more than making you feel totally depleted and annoyed. Researchers looked at 2,345 adults in Indiana and focused on what they called “hasslers,” people in your life who regularly create problems or make life more difficult. After surveying participants about their relationships and analyzing saliva samples for biological aging markers, the researchers found that each additional hassler was linked to a roughly 1.5% faster pace of aging.
That’s not to say one irritating cousin is single-handedly turning you into a Victorian ghost. The study found an association, not proof of direct cause. Lead author Byungkyu Lee, a sociology professor at NYU, said, “We do not know whether hasslers actually cause people to age. What we observe here is a kind of association between having hasslers and the rate of aging.”
This One Type of Person Might Be Stress-Aging You
Still, the findings were wild enough to get your attention. The researchers found that these negative social ties were associated with the same biological wear and tear people face from chronic stress tied to money problems, discrimination, or work strain. They also found that family hasslers, especially parents and children, were linked to stronger effects than non-family members. Which, sadly, makes sense. You can mute a random acquaintance. You usually can’t mute your mother.
The study also found that women reported more hasslers than men, and people in worse health or with difficult childhoods were more likely to have them in their close circle. Co-author Brea Perry of Indiana University told The Washington Post, “even small effects in terms of biological aging can accumulate.” That’s the issue here. It’s not always one awful incident that gets to people. It’s the steady drip of contact with someone who leaves you feeling tense, irritated, and tired.
Strong relationships are still good for health, and isolation comes with its own risks. Perry’s advice was to set limits where you can. If someone consistently drains you, put less energy into the relationship, create some distance, and stop giving them constant access.
Not all stress comes from work or finances. Sometimes it’s a people problem.
The post This Type of Person Is Literally Aging You Faster appeared first on VICE.
