The first time Tara Jae spoke to RaeShanda Eyon Lias on the phone in March 2025, she had a feeling there could be something special between them.
Mx. Jae, the founder of Black Pride Colorado, had called Ms. Lias, an entrepreneur, military veteran, content creator and author, to invite her to speak at an event in June.
“It was only supposed to be a 15-minute conversation, and we ended up talking for over an hour,” said Mx. Jae, who uses they/them pronouns.
Mx. Jae invited Ms. Lias, who lives in Louisville, Ky., to visit Denver ahead of Black Pride to get a lay of the land. Ms. Lias agreed, and a few weeks later, on May 9, Mx. Jae arrived at the airport to pick her up.
“She had her fur and her sunglasses on, her hand on her luggage,” Mx. Jae said. “She was filled with all the attitude. And I looked at her and said, ‘Do you do hugs?’ When I hugged her, my entire body just relaxed.”
They spent the weekend flirting, and after Ms. Lias returned to Louisville, they stayed in touch with phone calls. Ms. Lias invited Mx. Jae to visit Louisville for Memorial Day weekend.
At the end of that visit, Mx. Jae handed Ms. Lias a folded note that said: “Will you be my girlfriend? Yes or no.” Ms. Lias circled “yes.”
“I just knew this was my person,” Ms. Lias said. “We’re both cat people, both introverted, both have big goals and dreams and want to support each other in any way possible.”
Mx. Jae, 47, is the founder and executive director of YouthSeen, a nonprofit organization that works with queer and trans youth of color. Born in Rochester, N.Y., Mx. Jae moved to Denver in 2017. They hold a bachelor’s degree in visual arts from SUNY New Paltz, an M.F.A. in interdisciplinary arts with a focus on curatorial studies, photography and film from the now-closed Goddard College in Plainfield, Vt., and a Ph.D. in counseling from Capella University in Minneapolis.
Ms. Lias, 44, was born in Chicago and grew up in Fayette, Miss. She has a bachelor’s degree in public administration from Kentucky State University and served in the U.S. Army for seven years, reaching the rank of corporal. She now owns a clothing boutique in Louisville, and works as a content creator. She’s also the author of a children’s book called “ABC, She’s Brown Like Me.”
The month the two became a couple, they also talked about marriage.
“We’re in our 40s,” Ms. Lias said. “There’s no need to drag any of this out.”
On Aug. 7, Ms. Lias was visiting Mx. Jae in Denver. The couple had spent the evening playing spades, a favorite pastime. While Mx. Jae was in the shower, Ms. Lias wrote, “Will you marry me? Yes or no,” on a glass board in Mx. Jae’s house.
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Mx. Jae walked right past the sign.
“We’re sitting in bed, and I said, ‘Today is your last day picking me up from the airport as your girlfriend,’” Ms. Lias said. “The Ph.D. still didn’t get it. ‘What are you saying?’ I said, ‘Just look at the board.’ They put their glasses on, and then they start crying.”
Mx. Jae said yes. About a month later, on Sept. 12, Mx. Jae proposed to Ms. Lias at the Salamander Washington D.C., a hotel in which they were staying for the weekend to attend a Human Rights Campaign dinner.
Rather than settling on one engagement ring, Mx. Jae designed three to represent the different versions of Ms. Lias that they wanted to marry.
After the rings were presented, Ms. Lias “got up and started running around the room. She was like, ‘I’m sweating, I don’t know what to do,’” Mx. Jae said. “I was sitting on the bed like, ‘So, will you marry me?’”
“It was the sweetest thing,” said Ms. Lias, adding that she had been overwhelmed with emotion.
Eventually, she calmed down, sat next to Mx. Jae and said “yes.”
Mx. Jae and Ms. Lias were married at the Henry Clay building in Louisville on Feb. 14 by Niecy Nash-Betts, an actress and a friend of Ms. Lias who was ordained for the occasion by the Universal Life Church. Her own wife, Jessica Betts, co-officiated.
Originally, the couple planned to wed in Puerto Rico, but after the U.S. captured Venezuela’s president in early January, they became worried about the potential risks of flying over the Caribbean, and decided to move the wedding to Louisville.
The couple asked their 80 guests to dress in burgundy, deep reds and cream. In a nod to their love of spades, trivia and board games, Ms. Lias and Mx. Jae set up a separate game room for the reception.
“People don’t always just want to dance,” Ms. Lias said.
To honor the holiday, they erected a cherry tree in the foyer. “It’s a symbol of growth and love,” Ms. Lias said. “The perfect cherry on top for Valentine’s Day.”
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